Preview of Tomb Raider Angel of Darkness Review

So I bought Tomb Raider Angel of Darkness. It's been... an experience...

Only Slightly Delayed: Jurassic The Hunted

Well I was going to do an article on Trophies/Achievements but alas, I procrastinated and now someone else did it (and probably better). So instead I will now regale you with a story of why it's so awesome to be me, and how I had a fantastic time playing what many consider a bad game.

Jurassic: The Hunted is First Person Shooter set in the Bermuda Triangle where you shoot dinosaurs to your hearts content. If you didn't just high-five yourself after reading that blurb then you're probably not as excitable as I am about dinosaurs. J:H is also a b-movie, only it's a game… The gameplay is smooth and satisfying but the acting is abominable. The dialogue sounds like it was written by a 14 year old and all the motion capture seems like it was from marionettes, and it all ends up being amazing. These hackneyed elements combined with actually satisfying gameplay create a strangely mesmerizing experience. This is an extremely unique game. It is akin to Troll 2 or The Room, it is so awful, but still playable, so the poor elements become entertaining. This game squeezes in amongst the "so bad it's good" crowd.

The story goes something like this. Generic every-merc Dylan is on an escort mission with a "scientist" to the Bermuda Triangle when something goes horribly wrong. A magic mcguffin opens up and time goes haywire. Now you're on an island trying to find your team through waves of dinosaurs. Now, if shooting a dilophosaurus in the face on top of a volcano doesn't interest you then I'd suggest you stop reading now. For me, it's nirvana.

Being stuck in a time warp Dylan has to use whatever weapons he can find. These run the gambit from single shot Black Powder rifles to a Plasma Gun. Also, Jurassic: Hunted had an exploding bolt crossbow before it was cool. As I said before the mechanics in this game are great, the gunplay is fast and fluid and does not feel awkward at all. The addition of things like Civl War camps and World War 2 ships really helps add to the atmosphere of the mysterious circumstances you're in.

There is a Trophy/Achievement called "Clever Girl" that you get from being killed by a Raptor melee. Best Trophy Ever.

The environments get the job done, there's not much range (jungle, volcano, cave, jungle opening) but the game looks good enough. It's not eye candy, but it's not painful to look at, plus there aren't any screen tearing or slowdown issues, which is wonderful on a budget title. The one thing the game toted as it's unique feature was something called Adrenaline Mode, which is basically just bullet time BUT you can see the vital organs of the whatsitsaurus you're about to shoot giving you a tactical edge. Honestly, I think this feature works better than "traditional" bullet time. Adrenaline slows down everything, even you (unlike most games wherein bullet time you still have some semblance of speed). This means it's much more about your accuracy and less about you just slowing down time to cheat.

The game does have it's fair share of actual faults though. Segments are often repeated specifically "kill a ridiculous amount of dinos from a turret" and "kill a ridiculous amount of dinos from the fort you're in (that you need to repair)" These missions tend to outstay their welcome. Another downer; despite nazis being insinuated in the plot (a level where you travel to a u-boat) you never actually see any nazis. That would have been the cherry on top of this game to include nazis along with dinosaurs. Hilarious!

All in all, yes J:H is a budget title and it certainly shows in the story and acting departments, but honestly, the game as a whole is a laughably fun adventure. Plus it doesn't hurt that the game came out as a budget title ($40) and can now be found for $15 or less. While I know many will not enjoy this game the same way I did I can't help but feel it was one of the better games I've played in recent memory. If only because I was genuinely entertained and was laughing out loud at the atrocious dialogue.

Speaking of dinosaur games, check out the trailer for the new Jurassic Park Game from Telltale! I am so flippin excited for this one!

Latersaurus

Opinion-Hated: Hand Held Gaming (ep1)

This is a podcast type thingy where Jeremy and I exchange opinions about hot button nerd topics. This episode is about the next generation of hand held gaming.

Quick Thoughts on Some Movies!

Hi Everybody! I'm uploading the first episode of a new series called Opinion-Hated. It's a podcast type thingy where Jeremy and I exchange opinions about hot button nerd topics. It's also 20 minutes long and is taking FOREVER to upload. So in the mean time I thought I would give you some good old fashioned written down thoughts on a few movies I've viewed recently.

Exit Through the Gift Shop

I believe this movie might just be the longest joke I've ever watched. Essentially it all builds up to a finale that is hinted at in the begining and Hipsters are the punchline. The movie itself is a documentary by an amazing street artist named Banksy about another "artist" Thierry Guetta. Basically Thierry makes his money by selling beat up old clothes to stupid Hipsters at a ridiculous mark up. In addition to this he was also known for having a video camera with him at all times. The story of Thierry discovering street art and meeting the underground artists is fascinating, but the documentary takes an odd turn toward the end.

Thierry decides to become a street artist himself and forms the persona "Mr Brain Wash". His work is all derivative and even made by other people (he sees himself as a facilitator and button pusher) yet thanks to the sheer stupidity of masses he makes it big after just one art show. The movie seems to build up to this moment where it winks and tells you that art is dead, but you can still auction off the corpse. All in all I loved this film. A great deal of that probably comes from how prominently stencils and graffiti are featured (an old hobby of mine). It was fast paced and quirky and told the story of an interesting and eccentric man who may or may not be mentally handicapped, but in the end it doesn't matter, because he got your money, hipsters.

Space Jam

On the spur of the moment Lee, Jessica, Jeremy and I decided to watch Space Jam (thank you Vudu). Honestly I remember enjoying this as a child… then again I enjoyed a lot of things. After watching this again however, I've found that it has not aged as well as some might think. The entire movie feels like an extended commercial for… well nothing in particular. The animation is significantly dated and the human characters with the cartoons just looks odd. In comparison, Who Framed Roger Rabbit has held up much better. This is probably due to the fact that they used real actors for that film and not an NBA star. Also, a noir-esque story doesn't hurt.

My wife made a good point that the animation seems dated because they tried to represent the characters with a more bubbly shaded approach as compared to the straight 2D of Roger Rabbit. In the end I just couldn't shake the feeling that I would rather be watching an old WB cartoon, like the ones you catch glimpses of throughout Space Jam.

Secret of Kells

This movie was in limited release when it came out in theaters and it didn't have any more fanfare when it was released on DVD so I really can't blame you if you've not heard of it. Secret of Kells is an animated film about a young boy in a village surrounded by a great wall that was built to keep invading Vikings out. It is stunning and beautiful and breathes new life into the "cartoon network" style animation. It is also boring.

I find myself a bit torn because I really did love this movie, but I can't help but admit that it is somewhat boring. It is a very simple story but it unfolds quite elegantly. It's not in the traditional western style of grand action and consequence. It is smaller and much more personal. I highly recommend it, but keep in mind it is a tad bit slow.

The Living Wake

This is a small indie movie about an eccentric man who wishes to achieve greatness and find the meaning of life. K Roth Binew is told by a doctor that he has one day to live and this film chronicles it. The humor is dark and the characters quirky. There are touches of Wes Anderson here and there and it strives desperately for that indie feel much like the movie Wrist Cutters. Much like Wrist Cutters it misses the mark in editing and falls a bit short. All in all though there are some good and touching moments and it is worth a watch, if you can stand tremendous over acting. Oh and Jesse Eisenberg is in it.

Dragonball: Evolution Review

Dragonball Evolution Video Review

This was an interesting movie. Not because it had an engaging plot and complex characters. No Dragonball finds its niche in the "Just missed it" category. It seems like with everything they tried with this film they came close but never hit the mark, ending up with a final product that is simply sub-par. The fight scenes are nothing special. The characters are stereotypes. The story has plot holes. Everything for a train wreck is here but Dragonball manages to keep its head above the water. Granted, I am not a fan of DB so I have no attachment to these people and places and no compass with which to direct any rage. To me this is just a kind of bad action flick based on an anime that I have sparse details about floating around my brain.

The characters are laughably bad. They are, for the most part, shoehorned in and completely one note. I honestly can't believe that characters were cut from the script to focus on the main cast. Piccolo is evil... because. Chi Chi was there for one reason, forced love interest. Then there's Yamcha who… well… watch the trailer and see how many times you spot him. It's almost as though they put him in during post-production (and the "love interest" he had with Bulma… wow, it makes Goku and Chi Chi look like the couple from the Notebook).

The characters feel so odd mostly because of how inconsistent the world is. It's supposed to be semi-futuristic but it seriously jumps from ancients to an old dojo then to modern day high school then to sci-fi and then Fantasy. When Bulma shows up I thought she was from another planet. That's just how inconsistent this world feels. Because of that you get this group of people that seem like they're all from different worlds and it doesn't work. Honestly Kingdom Hearts did better than this.

There are plot holes here and there. Namely the glaring omission of how Piccolo, the main villain, was released from his 2000 year imprisonment. I suppose we can assume the girl villain (Mai, whose name I had to look up because it is not mentioned in the movie at all) was responsible, though her motives are never even remotely explored. Since the entire movie revolves around Piccolo getting out it'd be nice if the plot even touched on it. Also, on that note, James Marsters said that his character was just misunderstood. That he wasn't a bad guy at first but then he was sealed away for 2000 years and when he got out he was pissed and wanted revenge. Obviously I don't know if this is true in the anime/manga, but in this film they basically drill it in your head that Piccolo came 2000 years ago to destroy the earth. Sounds like a pretty bad guy to me… The plot is also juggled in an odd way. The Dragonballs were created by seven ancients to seal Piccolo so they're needed to defeat Piccolo but then it seems like Piccolo needs the Dragonballs to summon Oozaru (which he had before without the Dragonballs) so keeping them away from him would have been just as effective… it's all rather odd.

I can chalk this next gripe up to personal opinion, but at the end when *SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER* Roshi dies, they use the one wish the Dragonballs grant you to bring him back to life. They could end poverty, war, and world hunger, but nah, this guy they've known for a few days was pretty chill. Also, the Dragonballs split at the end of the movie and appear to be hidden again. Between Piccolo and Goku they managed to find all seven within a matter of days, so it speaks to reason that these things are pretty easy to find (especially since Bulma has DB locator). So what is keeping them from finding them over and over and getting near infinite wishes? Only one wish per person? Make some friends. The Dragonballs lost their power? They seemed just fine after sealing piccolo away. Perhaps that's it, there is a 2000 year recharge time. Why? Because.

Ultimately this movie isn't terrible. Yes it's bad, yes it's probably an abomination to the source material (though I wouldn't know) but it is held aloft by it's goofiness (the unintentional kind). I highly recommend viewing this with a small group of friends who can appreciate a good riff. If you don't like talking during movies than I'd avoid watching this with me, because there aren't two minutes that go by that they don't set you up for a great one liner. Props to Jeremy for the Highwind joke. Classic.

The Walking Dead (AMC) Review

Click to Play

Some quick thoughts on the first season of AMC's The Walking Dead

If you don't like reading, check out my Video Review (Above)

If you've been reading my blog for a while then you know that The Walking Dead is just about my favorite Graphic Novel at the moment. It's not just a zombie comic, it is a zombie epic, a character driven story that is powerful in its delivery and broad in scope. A while back I mentioned how excited I was for the television adaptaion of said work. Well, the TV series came and went... on cable. Unfortunately I do not have cable so I had to look for alternative means to watch The Walking Dead. Luckily I stumbled across Amazons new On Demand feature and got the entire first season plus a pre-pilot sneak preview for $5.

So what did I think? Well much like the graphic novel it's a mixed bag (a bag filled with diamonds and severed hands).

The series as an adaption is incredibly faithful to the spirit of the books. I say spirit because this is not a direct translation. The characters are the same, and they are put in similar situations, but this is not a blow by blow of the graphic novel. New characters, relationships and scenarios all come into play within the first episode. Most notably the addition of two "redneck" brothers and a different relationship between Shane (Ricks best friend) and Lori (Ricks wife). If you want a recap of how the relationship between Shane and Lori went in the book click here for my review of Walking Dead Volume One. In the show Shane not only makes it past the first episode but he is still alive even at the end of the season. Though his killy rapey self is becoming more apparent.

The characters from the book; Rick, Shane, Lori, Carl, Dale, Glen and the like are all perfect. They do a great job capturing each person. Shane is great at crazy eyes. Dale is old, wise and friendly, and Glen is upbeat and emotional. As for the new characters... I like them. I think the Dickson brothers are a fun addition, racism and all, and setting up Merle as a future villain is an interesting place to take the series. I like that he didn't show up again in this season. Though I must admit I find his escape rather taxing on the imagination. The other new characters are basically there to be eaten by zombies. Jim's death plays out much the same way as in the book (gets bitten, slowly turns) but I wish they would have added the bit from the comic about his family...

The gore in Walking Dead is lite. I can see some zombie buffs not quite buying into because it is more about the characters. There are some episodes, the season finale stands out, where there are hardly any zombies at all. Just keep in mind that this show is not about how many zombies can be killed in 45 minutes, it is about people surviving in an incredibly dangerous world.

Speaking of the season finale, it was incredibly weak. Six episodes clearly weren't enough for where the creators of the show wanted to go (luckily a 2nd season has already been ordered). The 6th episode just feels like a self contained story, there is no real cliff hanger, nothing to draw you back (unless you just love zombies/ the show). There was also one scene, in which the group all gets a hot shower for the first time in ages, that plays out almost like a parody. The one thing they did try to bait us with was that a secret is passed to Rick near the end of the episode. I have some theories on what that might be, but I'll get into that down below***

In the end I have to reccomend this series. It was well made and executed with near perfection. This will hopefully be a long running series like the graphic novel. I would love to see where these surivors end up several years down the road. If you like zombies you owe it to yourself to watch this show.

Now lets get into some SPOILERS

*** At the end of episode six, in which the group makes it to the Center for Disease Control, they find the one remaining scientist Dr. Jenner. He reluctantly lets them into the CDC underground, makes them all take blood tests, and tells them all he knows about the virus and the world at large. At one point Rick goes to thank Jenner (Rick being slightly drunk) and asks about the blood tests. Jenner responds with a non descript "No suprises". Later the CDC runs out of backup power so it beings a facility wide decontamination. Jenner traps the survivors in but eventually lets them go, but before Rick runs out he whispers something into his ear and Rick is clearly disturbed by what he says. Here are my theories as to what he whispered:

1. That his wife Lori is pregnant. This happens in the graphic novel and is quite a tense situation because by that point Rick knows the baby might not be his, and could be Shane's (who is dead). Also they don't know how the virus, which they all technically have, could affect the baby.

2. At one point Shane gets drunk and almost sexually assaults Lori. Jenner has cameras all over the building, there is a good chance he saw what went down in the wreck room and told Rick his "Friend" might be a bit unstable (perhaps it's 1 and 2)

3. That they all have the virus. At this point in the book, and the series it would seem, the characters all think the only way you become a zombie is if you are bitten or scratched. However, it is discovered by the deaths of the two idiots in the books that everyone will come back eventually. Knowing that no matter what, you have the virus in you and will turn even if not bitten would be quite disheartening to hear.

4. This one is a bit of a lame duck but... Andrea is infected... At one point Andrea throws up form what we are left to assume is grief/alcohol. I'd be incredibly disappointed if this were the case. Also, this one makes the least sense.

So those are my theories, they are all fairly in line with the comic. That said, Kirkman has stated before that the series will deviate from the books to keep the fans of the comics guessing.