Wait... Old People Make Games?

Editorial Note: I know, it's been a while. I expect to be welcomed back with open arms and eyes welling with tears of admiration. YOU should expect a wordy article about nothing in particular and massive spoilers for Last of Us, Bioshock Infinite and Tell Tale's The Walking Dead.

It's been a rough few weeks for me. First I had to slog my way through Bioshock Infinite, then drudge past TellTale's Walking Dead, then shortly after submit myself to the agony of Naughty Dog's Last of Us. After severe depression and fits of uncontrollable sobbing I realized something; Becoming a father has made me soft(er). Let me set the record straight, I've always been a man who is in touch with his emotions (just ask me to explain the "Alternate Ending" comic for Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends) it's just something that has gotten worse, if that's the right word, since Hayden arrived.

 

Spoilers from here

The Last of Us opens with a surprise. You actually begin the game controlling Joel's frightened daughter, 20 years before the game proper begins. There is much to be said for this design choice, but this article isn't really about game design, it's about things that make me cry, because that's what you want to read about. After a short drive you gain control of Joel as he runs away from all the chaos holding his daughter, who is then killed, not by infected, but by military quarantine.

Sure, this scene tugs at the heart strings, but it's nothing compared to the end. The climax of the game is a mirror image of the opening, with Joel clutching Ellie, running through the madness of the hospital trying to escape. I lost it. Again, not terribly out of the ordinary, but the impact was greater on me. It was so simple for me to put myself in Joel's headspace.

The same goes for The Walking Dead game (That would be TellTales, NOT Activision's). It was simple for me to get into Lee's head and care about Clem, because she represented exactly what she was supposed to, something beautiful in a world destroyed. Lee getting bit resonated more with me than every single zombie bite I have ever seen, movies, comics, games combined. That fact can be attributed to Clem, the thought of leaving her alone and unprotected in that world was devastating.

 

Finally there is Bioshock Infinite. This game pulls a bait and switch. I went in expecting grand themes, painted broadly on the canvas of Columbia, the floating city. That is how the game begins. Where the original bioshock played it's sociopolitical commentary a bit closer to the vest till the end, infinite comes out swinging. It throws patriotism, racism, fanatic religious behavior, and overt violence at you within the first few minutes. The difference is that these themes serve as more of a red haring for Infinite's true purpose.

At it's core Infinite is a game about blinding regret. At the games conclusion you are left with the complete picture of a broken man, who sold his daughter to pay for gambling debt, and spent the rest of his life torturing himself for it. I know some people didn't quite like the way it wrapped up, and that the alternate universes let a bit to many story conveniences in. I found the resolution to be engaging and heart breaking. That moment when you realize you've been playing as Elizabeth's father this entire time is heart wrenching. Again, the feeling is compounded knowing there is an infant in the other room that is completely reliant on me.

So what do all these games have in common, other than being crazy depressing? These games made me realize something, video games are growing up. As an industry we have evolved from "Save your Girlfriend" (who was probably kidnapped by ninjas, or an over sized lizard... thing) to "Play as this guy, and through this guy view the complex and emotional path of parent hood, a thing mostly reserved for adults, but you can have a taste in delightful long form visual story telling utilized to near perfection."

I know that is quite the mouthful, but it's the truth. Granted, games have grown up in other equally artistic ways, but the exploration of the dynamic between parent and child is something so core to the human experience, it practically trumps everything else. This is not just entertainment. These games represent a way to gain insight into a core human experience.

For me, The Last of Us takes the cake (in the saddest way possible). While I love all these games, it holds the most water in terms of human interaction and storytelling. The evolution of Joel and Ellie's relationship is more than simply believable. I mean, I believe Lee would do anything to keep Clem safe, and I believe thank Booker was so wracked with guilt he would do anything to make up for it. Believability isn't everything, it's part of an organic whole with so many moving parts it's amazing how right each of these games got it.

There is a moment in Infinite that is a rather touching Easter egg where Booker plays the guitar while Elizabeth sings. It's very moving, and touching, and other sappy words, but the Last of Us has small moments like that (even something as insignificant as Joel glancing at his watch) throughout the entire game. I would recommend any gamer who is or will someday be a parent play these games. In all honesty it will prepare you for the harsh reality that parenthood is terrifying.

Don't get me wrong, being a parent is perhaps the most amazing thing ever in the universe, it's like life's bacon. There is, however, a flip side to that happiness. That is the stress and worry of having something you love so much more than you ever thought possible be so incredibly fragile.

Enslaved: Odyssey to the- Wait, What?

I find it quite astonishing how many people I speak to who have no idea what Enslaved: Odyssey to the West is. Even my friends that skim game sites on a daily basis weren't in the know (save for a a select few). In hindsight though this speaks to reason as the lackluster sales of Enslaved has dashed the hopes of a sequel ever seeing the light of day. The news came from the studio itself (Ninja Theory) who are currently hard at work on the Devil May Cry reboot/prequel. The news made me sad, so I decided to finally sit down and record my thoughts about Enslaved.

Enslaved, to me, is a fantastic example of a strong linear narrative in an interactive medium. Keep in mind that I do not use linear here as a negative, just don't come into this game expecting emergent storytelling. There, now that I've got the pretentious explanation out of the way I can get on to the good stuff. The characters and the world they inhabit are simply stunning. This game has incredible art direction. It takes the drab apocalypse and turns it into a fab apocalypse! The lush, colorful environments are a welcome change to the games I've been playing lately.

The story is loosely based on the Eastern classic Journey to the West (in about the same way the first Resident Evil movie was based on Alice in Wonderland). It ends up being fairly broad in its scope and execution, or at least more so than I thought it would be. Basically, I went into this thinking it would be Escape From New York, but it ended up being more along the lines of, say, Visions of Escaflowne.

The characters are strong, which they should be, as there are only three. The performances tend to avoid the uncanny valley and would at times elicit the occasional emotional response. This was a wonderful treat seeing as I had just finished playing Oblivion in which the grand total of characters I had an emotional attachment to was zero. In fact is was probably somewhere deep in the negatives because I actively hated many of the people in Oblivion...

The actual game play mechanics is where some say the Enslaved falters. The staff swinging and shooting of monkey can be a bit wonkey at times, but it remains enjoyable for the most part. Sometimes platforming can get frustrating as jumping is irritatingly context sensitive.

In the end I would certainly recommend this title. In fact I would love it if the Enslaved got a large, noticeable boost in used sales, making it financially viable to make a sequel. I'll admit, there's not much here in the way of "games as art" other than just being a fun game, but that's not a bad thing. I think back on my time with Enslaved like a good book, one I will certainly revisit later because of the vibrant art direction and enjoyable characters. Anything I'm willing to play twice can at the very least be considered a good game... or at least an okay game... well by any means it's certainly a game.

Oblivion Journal: Entry III

It has been a while since my last entry, I've lost count of the days. I've been instructed by Jaufree to get as many Allies as possible to protect Martin the Bastard... I'll get around to it eventually.

A man rode past me on a horse so I killed him out of instinct, seems he was just a messenger. Looks like I'm growing an entire garden of oopsie daisies.

Killed some more people on the road, they attacked me first... I seem to have developed a sniffle, I should get some rest before I get sick!

hmmm.... turns out rest was a bad idea, I'm a Vampire now... Not exactly sure how but no matter, I spoke to a guy who told me about a guy that knows where a guy is with a cure!

Day ???

Whoa, not a guy with the cure, but she could have fooled me. This witch wants me to find a bunch of crap, shouldn't be an issue for the HERO OF KVATCH.

Day ???

Like I said before, not an issue, got all the junk. All that's left now is to turn it all in.

hmmm... The witch is just staring at me blankly when I try to hand her my neatly trimmed Blood Grass. Perhaps if I try shooting it at her with my bow.

Well the message got across, but not the one I wanted. Had to kill the witch. She didn't think much of it when she got back up... but she still won't make me the potion... bitch...

Day ???

Sunlight burns the flesh... I hate being a vampire... Oh well, I have my a mission! Get aids!

Day sevntythree

Found a lovely little town, and they said they'll send aid to Bruma if I close that pesky Oblivion Gate outside! No problem citizens! I can't wait to see what unique and diverse situations I'll encounter gathering aid for to protect the Martin!

Day Atey

Found another village! Looks like they need a me to close an Oblivion Gate! Off I go!

Day 81

At another Town, sounds like they've got an Oblivion Gate problem! Third times the charm!

Day 82

Hmmm... there seems to be a rash of these Oblivion things... Guess I'll shut this one down too so they can send aids

Day 83

Seriously...

Day 84

Guess what I did today...

Day 85

This better be the last one....

Day 86

Commence hair pulling....

Day nineD

at last! I have gathered all my allies! Now to take the fight to the man... whos name I've forgotten

Day whatever

I'm sick of being a vampire, it has left me quite bitter...

Accidentally killed guard after we opened an Oblivion GREAT balls of Gate, they tried to arrest me... had to kill like eight guards... I almost feel bad. Almost.

This day

Decided to travel to the big city. A guard tried to arrest me, blood filled the streets.


Day Day

Being a vampire has made me incredibly bitter, I will kill anyone one at the drop of a hat, YOU SHOULD HAVE FIXED THE GLITCH BETHESDA. NOW ALL WILL SUFFER.


Day the last day

Well all hell broke loose, I killed some demons then the emporer bastard Martin turned into a dragon and killed the bad thing. Whoop-de-freakin-doooo. They made soem armor for me apparently, but I can't pick it up for two weeks. I will fill those two weeks with the blood of the innocent.

I am still a vampire. I am sad.

Oblivion Journal: Entry II

Day Ate

I was woken up up by some creeper in a hood last night, said something about joining a club called the Black Hand. Seems kind of sketchy, but all I have to do to join is murder someone, so I'll sleep on it.

I had to talk a dreadfully unattractive woman out of a book about cults today. Luckily I didn't have to use my masculine wilds. Then later I went on a wonderful romp through the sewers with my new friend whats-his-name, who was kind enough to take out his sword and point out exactly where an enemy was he wanted me to kill.

After we disbanded a local cult whats-his-name left me to wander the sewers by myself. I'm sure nothing bad will come of this.

I seem to be stuck in between two gates, no matter, nothing will dampen my spirits or resolve!

I had to kill myself, my resolve is intact, though my spirit is a bit soggy... Back to questing!

Day Nein

Deja vu, had to tear through the same cult. Now I have all the books I need to unravel the mystery of the Blue Oyster Cult! The code was easy enough to break, pro tip: IT'S THE GIANT RED LETTERS... Now to make sense of it all...

It says something about a Green Emperor, so I guess I have to head to the Green Road! Off I go toward the Inn of Ill Omen, sounds like a quaint Bed and Breakfast.

Day Tin

I arrived at the Inn and the keeper told me about a man named Rufio in the basement... why does that name sound so familiar...

Now I remember, I was woken from my sleep several nights ago by a strange man in a hood who told me to kill Rufio! Wouldn't want to disappoint my fans!

After talking to Rufio it sounds like he has a sickness, and his symptoms include killing girls. The remedy? Take two arrows and call me in the morning... from hell.

Day Heleven

That strange hooded man woke me up again, surely he has come to reward me for my righteous deed of slaying the evil Rufio.

Turns out I'm now a member of the Black Hand, a fairly crazy cult in its own right.

Tried to kill the guy, I knocked him down, but he got up again, I'm never gonna keep him down. Luckily despite just sitting through a lecture about NEVER betraying the black hand he seemed pretty cool with the whole "attempted murder" thing. Maybe this cult won't be so bad after all!

Now what was I doing again... oh that's right! Cult Hunting!

Day Twelveth

I'm begining to think my original idea to check the Green Road was altogether wrong... Time to go back to the big city!

Finally made it back and found Green Emperor Way! Now, all I have to do is stand in this spot for 12 hours. Piece of Cake.

Day Fourteenth (for superstitious purposes)

Well that went by fast, and now I have a waypoint again! Off the find the cult!

Well I found them and was greeted with open arms, they want to make me a member! I let them take all my stuff, doesn't matter, they couldn't take away my deadliest weapons of all, my Ten Finger Furies.

So I was made a part of some blood letting ceremony, they didn't specify how much blood to let so I might have gone a bit over board. As soon as I got the Silver Dagger I killed everyone in the room (except the sacrifice, who ran away). I think they might not let me back in this club... Shame... No matter! I got the book I needed, now off to Cloud Ruler Temple!

Day fifteen

Apparently I need to pay more attention, I was supposed to grab an amulet or something. Whatever, I didn't hear anything about an amulet. I'm too handsome to pay attention to these peasants.

Well now I get to go spy hunting, time to hop on my steed and ride.

I rode straight down the face of the mountain and the spy was kind enough to be waiting for me at the bottom! One arrow later the spy problem was dealt with. Check and mate.

Aha! There is another Spy to find! Back to spy hunting.

Again, the spy was kind enough to be waiting at the bottom of the hill, I am the ultimate spy hunter!

Oblivion Journal: First Entry

I recently got Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (5th anniversary edition for PS3, if you were wondering) and I'm only a few hours in. That said, this game is going to take many many hours. So instead of doing a summary of my experience at the end, I figured I would try something a bit different with Oblivion. I am going to be keeping a journal of sorts from the perspective of my brave avatar, so prepare yourself for the adventure and ridiculousness of Mattimus the Quiet.

Day Oneth

I'm in a dungeon! Not sure how... or why... also I think I might have changed genders over night, this may warrant further investigation. I heard the sultry voice of one Captain Jean-Luc Picard in a dream, today is going to be a good day!

The Emperor himself paid me a visit in my cell! I knew today would be good! I followed him around for a bit to listen to his voice, but then he died... shame really.

Day Two by two

I'm not in a dungeon! The Emperor sent me on a quest, so questing I will go. I saw a small encampment so I thought I would check it out. Upon investigation I discovered that people there really don't like interruptions, but I knew I could handle the situation with Diplomacy.

After a few stabs from Diplomacy the situation was handled and I was 3 gold pieces richer. Bam.

Day the Third

I picked up an arrow and now I can't move... This is troubling... I made my way to meet some guy named Jaufree, who is supposed to know where to find one of the Emperor's love children. He gave me the information I needed, so I continued on my merry way. I felt a horse would be the best way to travel so I hopped on one at the local stable.

... Turns out I stole the horse. The owner and a guard chased me several miles but I eventually out ran them (sans horse). I'm sure since I returned the horse and the whole thing was a misunderstanding that this will have no negative connotations in the future. None whatsoever.

Day-to-be Four

I went to hell today, that was interesting. Well, technically it was Oblivion, but it's like hell. I also ripped the hearts out of several guards. When in Rome!

I found Martin the Bastard! He doesn't like it when I call him that but I think it's hilarious, so the little bastard will just have to deal with it.

We helped bring a castle town out from the control of demons. During which I accidentally struck down a guard, but he got in the way of my arrow so I'm sure my friends won't mind. After all, it was an accident in the heat of battle.

Whoa, turns out they do mind, I had to kill all of my friends... oh well, fresh slate! and Martin doesn't seem to mind!

Day ofeth Five

Martin, Jaufree and Myself are now headed toward the head quarters of the Blades. I think I see a fellow horsemen up ahead, I'll stop and give greetings.

Turns out it was a guard who only wanted to arrest me, hardly seems fair... So I killed him. Martin objected, but I knocked him out again and then he was fine. It's nice to know your friends have reset buttons.

We finally reached the Blades HQ but we can't get in without Jaufree and he is missing. Now I have to go find his lazy ass. Went into then out of a building, then back to the HQ and Jaufree was there! I also missed something important apparently, but I don't care, I'm far to handsome. Besides! I have a new quest! Time to head to the big city!

Dayeth the Six

Met some new friends on the road! Had to kill them though, they started it.

I made it to the big city! A guard is ahead, I shall ask his friendly muscular frame for directions!

They arrested me! No idea why, I think I smell bullshit... well any way, I'll just sleep off my sentence and everything will be fine.

Day Sev

I made it out of prison, I feel slower, dumber and weaker, but better for the experience... and now I can't move... This is slightly troubling.

To be continued...

Bioshock Me Once, Shame on You. Bioshock Me Twice...

***SPOILERS AHEAD, ye be warned

I hold the original Bioshock on a very high pedestal. Its approach toward deconstruction of a linear narrative was, in a word, phenomenal. I was near giddy when I heard the good people at 2k were planning a return trip to that underwater paradise (lost) Rapture. Then the news broke that you would be playing as a Big Daddy, and in my mind from then on it seemed much more like a cash grab then a fully fleshed out sequel.

Honestly, that is what it feels like most of the time. It just doesn't seem like a story that anyone really wanted to tell. Bioshock was a big enough hit that they had to make a sequel, so they started with the idea (gimmick) that you would play as a Big Daddy. From there they made a decent story to wrap reason around exactly what you're doing in Rapture.

They just went in the wrong direction with Bioshock 2. The reason Rapture was so captivating in the first was due to the mystery. Seeing a mans dreams and ideals be destroyed by human nature was riveting. Almost all that effect is lost in Bioshock 2. Ironically, they started with the right idea. The opening cinematic shows Rapture as it was before it went to hell in a hand basket. The rest of the game I couldn't shake the feeling that I wanted to be playing that game. I wanted to see Rapture in all its glory, talk to normal people, watch someone record an audio diary.

Apparently the only thing to do in Rapture is record your thoughts

This is still a Bioshock game though, and at its core it delivers with a finely crafted twist. The entire game you are chasing after your Little Sister, who was taken from you by Sophia :amb, the new villian. While the first game took the path of slavery vs freedom, Bioshock 2 leans toward the act of choice. Namely that the choices you make don't really effect you. You can be a nice, mean, or neutral Big Daddy, but what you won't realize till the end of the game is that your actions were never meant to shape you, they were shaping who Eleanor (your "Daughter") would become. In the end that is all that really matters about the game, and as a person standing at the precipice (read: several years away from) of parenthood, I found the message quite resonating. Who you are is not as important for yourself, not in the long run. When you have children, who you are can directly effect who they become.

So Bioshock 2 wasn't so bad after all. It didn't quite have the same impact as the first, but it did better than most. Lamb's anti-Ryan persona makes for a terrific antagonist, and filling in some of the blanks from the first game (even though done through audio diary) was a great touch. Also, there is a very cool scene toward the end where you play as a Little Sister, and you see Rapture through their eyes, very interesting stuff. If you were a fan of the first Bioshock I'd highly recommend it... If you haven't already played it... At the very least it can well stem the tide before Bioshock Infinite, which lets face it, looks AMAZING!

New subject matter for Infinite... Can't wait!

The Force Unleashed Who?

Last weekend I was able to blast through Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II (No pun intended). It is a rather short game and would have certainly been much better suited as DLC, but I got it for scratch so I can't complain. That's right, stop reading now if you want to hear a seething rant about what an insult this game was. Honestly, it's a fun game. There may be one QTE too many for a few people but other than that the action is fast, fun, and you feel powerful. Like really, really powerful.

As a matter of fact as Starkiller you are so ridiculously devastating to the Empire that one has to wonder. As you plow through company after company of nameless troopers you can't help but think "how is it that no one in episodes 4, 5, and 6 ever mentions that one jedi who took out like HALF the Empire by himself and started the rebellion." That really is the biggest fault of FU II (oh how clever, Lucas Arts) the story is so inconsequential while at the same time being hugely affective. In the words of Bart Simpson it manages to both "suck and blow".

I really like the idea behind the first game. A secret apprentice who ***SPOILER*** starts the rebellion then dies, the end. A sequel just didn't need to happen. But it did, and ***MORE SPOILERS*** It actually ended with sequel bait! I was absolutely blown away that this short of a game would end with a hook for a third game, and talk about consequence, they have captured Darth Vader.

I can absolutely see them carrying on this series until literally the first scene of A New Hope. On that note I'm actually a bit terrified that Lucas Arts will continue to make these games through the original trilogy, and I don't mean in that interesting retcon/alternate history way.

Bet you didn't know this was only moments after Starkiller was knocked out by Vader

God I hope no one at Lucas Arts reads my blog...

All in all I have to say that I did enjoy playing both Force Unleashed games far more then watching the prequel trilogy. The story is silly, but the game is fun to play. Though this time around you don't get to slaughter any Wookies, Jawas, or Ewoks... So points off for that I suppose.

A Brief Reflection on Portal 2

It was no secret that I was excited beyond belief for Portal 2. As of the date of this posting I have finished the single player campaign. Unfortunately I haven't had any time to play the co-op so I'll only be commenting on what I thought of the "main story". Just a heads up, as usual this article will contain plenty of SPOILERS so I would recommend you turn tail if you haven't finished single player yet.

Short version: Portal 2 is exactly the game I thought it would be and I absolutely adored it. Long version...

The reason I loved this game so much was because it is hands down one of the best story telling experiences I've had in years. The team at Valve did a lot of homework and crafted a game that draws from equal parts Bioshock, Half Life, and...well, Portal. This is a game where "play, don't show" took center stage. The story unfolds in two acts more so than three (it seems to go prologue, act I, act II, epilogue). There is technically a third act, but it was a bit brief (not that's a bad thing).

The voice acting and dialogue is all top notch. This game had me laughing out loud almost entirely throughout. In addition to the hilarity of PA messages, they were also informative (toward the story and/or history). This rang especially true in the "old" Aperture labs. The way you hear Cave Johnson deteriorate was fantastic. This brings me to the other captivating part of Portal 2, the atmosphere.

Wow. The atmosphere in this game is great. It is constantly subtly changing as you progress which actually lends to the sense of progression and avoids tedium. I mean, think about it, you go from jungle over grown labs, to watching the facility put itself back together until it resembles Portal, then going through the old labs, then watching the facility fall apart. I'll give special mention here to the "old Aperture" labs. That portion blew me away, it was phenomenal. The trophy case that you can look in (if you choose) that divulges the origin of Aperture was a great touch. Of course, the reason I love this part so much probably has something to do with my mild obsession with abandoned things.

That's what I love about Portal 1 and 2, the story is gets deeper if you want it two. If you want, you can take time to stop and read signs or writing on the wall. It's the players choice. In my opinion the fact that this game had me wanting to learn everything I could speaks volumes about its story. One that Valve provided without resorting to codex' or lengthy journal entries. This was very much a visual, playable history.

So there you have it. Portal 2 is great, but you probably already knew that. Oh and there are some puzzles and stuff in the game too... those were fantastic as well.

The System is Down, The System is Down

As most my readers know my current system of choice is Sony's Playstation 3. Many of my readers also probably know that last week the Playstation Network was intruded upon by some rather unscrupulious characters. I've been meaning to write on this topic for a while but nothing has really come to mind. Yes it is a tragedy, no Sony didn't deserve it, yes the people that did do it should be shot in the kneecaps and thrown in prison, but that's aside the point.

What bummed me out last week wasn't hearing about how my credit card information may or may not be compromised, it was the reaction. Across every message board and comment page you would find the same ugly thing, fanboy's starting flame wars. This is one of the "being taken seriously as an industry" topics.

Right now video games are only taken seriously, in large, as a way to make money. There is not much we as "gamers" can do or say to defend that when tragedy strikes and the only way the majority of people know how to respond is by taking advantage of it to boast how superior they're system of choice is. It's just disheartening to see things like "Sony deserved it" and "all you retards that use PSN had this coming".

No matter where you go or what you do there will always be a concentration of bad apples. It just seems that there is a pretty ridiculously high concentration among our ranks. We need to stop and take stock of whats important; having fun playing video games, or arguing about why the system your mom bought you is superior to the system your friends mom bought them. We're not all grade-schoolers anymore people.

A lot of people are pegging the PSN crack on the fact that Sony sued Geohotz for cracking the PS3. Honestly, I was never on either side during this debate. I think that if you buy a machine you can do whatever you want with it. That said, cracking something is generally (read: almost always) used to pirate games and software. I think Sony has a right to protect their investment. Geohotz is not some robin hood, fighting for the people, and neither are the ones that broke into the PSN, but I think that painfully obvious now.

Substantially less funny IRL

The most terrifying part of all of this is that it could have been done in part or wholly by a "rogue element" of Anonymous. This group of hackers has their own agenda and claims to represent the voice of the people. I certainly would avoid doing anything to upset them, and that right there is the problem. This group leverages its unique power with fear to attempt to control or alter situations. How is that any different from the government or large corporations. It seems far to easy for a group like Anonymous to lose sight of its original goal.

If you were wondering, no I'm not going to jump ship from Sony. First and foremost the PSN being down didn't phase my gaming at all. My wife was able to play Castlevania: Lords of Shadow without issue and I was able to enjoy Folklore without error. I understand how the story is different for a great many people who enjoy playing online, but for me personally, it wasn't a big deal.

The people at fault here are those that would, without conflict of conscious, steal and attempt to sell the private information of millions. I don't care what system you own, that is wrong on a colossal level. Sony took a lot of precautions with the PSN, including encrypting customer data. Yes, you will find other websites on the internet that say otherwise, and honestly there is no way to prove it unless you work at Sony, but Sony has said as much and I'd like to believe them. The fact of the matter is that the people the Sony pissed off (unjustifiably) were very, very good at what they do.

Time For Wild Speculation!

The big N had a "leak" this week and it was a biggin. Provided all the information (from multiple sources, mind you) is true we will be getting a glimpse of a brand new Nintendo System at this years E3. This seems like a bit of a shock following so closely to the release of the 3DS, but with Nintendo's financial dominace the last few years this new platform has me curious.

Details are sketchy at best but preliminary reports indicate that this will indeed be a fully HD system, set to possibly even give the PS3 and 360 a run for their collective money... again. Also, while some reports are saying it will be backward compatible to the Wii, the primary focus of this console will be to grasp the "core demographic" once again. One leak has stated that the controller, as of now, features two analog sticks and a built in LED screen, which could possibly be a touch screen.

The code name for the project is "Cafe" which is odd, but hey, does anyone else remember the "Dolphin"? If I had to make a wild guess, which of course I will, I would say that "Cafe" is a good indicator that this system will be more focused on the social side. Nintendo has had issues with this before, the Wii was a bit of a disaster online, but the 3DS is certainly moving toward a social market and appeal. In addition, there will almost assuredly be 3DS interconnectivity.

Now that you have all the facts allow me to gush about how awesome this move is on Nintendo's part (please note I am in no way, shape, or form a Nintendo fanboy).

The Wii was a powerful force that took many by surprise. It was accessible but not to the point of alienating its core fans too much. While I do think the motion controls were gimmicky, it still managed to put out a fairly solid library of games, mountains of shovel ware excluded. Simply put, the Wii managed to put Nintendo in a very good position financially. You have to remember, Microsoft and Sony took a huge hit to the wallet the first several years of production while Nintendo was making a profit.

Now it is about 5 years later, the "average" cycle for a system, and Nintendo is ready to launch a new one... but where is the competition? Sony and Microsoft are both trying to stretch out the life of their respective systems for another 3, 4 or possibly even 5 years. That's why they introduced the Move and Kinect. That means Nintendo is going to be first to the market with a shiny new toy, and be the best on the market to beat.

Simply put, Nintendo is poised to dominate once again; core demographic, casual, social. Word is that Nintendo is already showing the build to third party developers, which could even mean a solid launch with good titles. Granted this is all just conjecture at this point. but the big N always seems to be a step ahead lately. There is a small, and I mean minute chance, that this system could go the way of the Dreamcast. There could be a gap in development between the established 360/PS3 crowd and developers might not be willing to take a chance on it. That said, however, this is a Nintendo console, so the majority of "must have" titles will be first party.

I don't know what will happen come 2012, but what I do know is that I am darn excited for E3 this year... maybe I'll try to get a press pass. I'm sure they wouldn't mind giving full press access to a nerd with a blog!

Only Slightly Delayed: A Review of Dante's Inferno

If you know me at all then I'm sure you are prepared for what I am about to say. Dante's Inferno is a good game.

Good, of course, is a relative term so allow me to explain further. First and foremost I suggest you watch this video by Benzaie (TGWTG), this is a topic I was planning on writing about and may do so in the future. Basically the game market today is very close to the game market of yesteryear. Back in the day (late 80's early 90's) popular titles were emulated, some were good, some were bad, most were just okay. This brings us to Dante's Inferno.

Dante's Inferno is a rip off of God of War in the same vein that Battlefield Bad Company is a rip off of Call of Duty. Both are good games and share very similar assets, that's all. For the sake of clarity I'll now disclose that I have not had much time with God of War, at the same time however, I am not ignorant to the features and game play. God of War, Bayonetta, Devil May Cry, Dante's Inferno and more are all examples (some perhaps better than others) of the new breed of Hack and Slash. Quite frankly all these outrageous and over-the-top characters are what all the attempts at system "mascots" were back in the day. Nowadays though we need something more edgy so instead of a silly blue hedgehog or possum with a jet pack we get angry brooders or buxom seducers. Sometimes you just have a sword, sometimes sword and guns, sometimes...hair... and occasionally something sharp at the end of a chain. The important thing is not what you use to deliver the damage but how you do it. If the pain is delivered via combos, or more accurately, button mashing, then you are usually enjoying a modern hack and slash.

Dante's Inferno gives you plenty of visually appealing ways to deal with bad guys, but ultimately you can beat the entire game with two or maybe three combos. So if you are looking for depth and variety, feel free to avoid this one (go pick up Devil May Cry). If, however, you are like me and enjoy mashing buttons to a barrage of particle effects and blood, then read on. As I have said before the game feels very similar to another hacky-slashy-mad-at-the-afterlife-murderama, but what I'm trying to stress is that the similarities don't make it an inherently bad game. One slightly unique aspect of the combat is the ability to punish or absolve enemies, this gives you points to upgrade either holy or unholy powers, though to be honest not much is done with this.

On the character of Dante himself I find it almost funny how hard the development team worked to make him marketable. I mean, just look at his weapon, not only is it Death's scythe, but it's made of a spinal column. I think my friend Jeremy said it best: it's just so signature. That's the difficult part about our industry, you can't make something signature, it just happens. The dev team behind portal wasn't trying to make the most quotable game ever, it just happened because they wrote what they thought was funny. They had no intention of twitter becoming ground zero for cake related jokes because they were smart enough to know that you can't force that kind of stuff. If you do it usually just comes off as annoying or obnoxious. So yes, Dante was made to be a franchise character, but don't use that to judge against his game.

Our hero ladies and gentlemen

Based on the epic poem also known as the Divine Comedy it does take it's fair share of "poetic" (no pun intended) license with the source material. The story begins rather one note in that your soul goal (pun intended) is to rescue your beloved Beatrice. Once you get into the fire and flames though things change up a bit. Dante's Inferno obviously isn't as somber as the poem but the game still manages to delve into at least some serious and evocative territory. One scene in particular (SPOILER) finds Dante in the Suicide Wood were he is met with a surprise; his mother. Dante had believed all his life that his mom had died of fever, but here he is confronted with the undeniable fact that she took her own life.(END SPOILER) The scene was handled well and ended up being surprisingly powerful.

The story continues to grow and as you get deeper into Hell you learn more about Dante himself. The journey is always about saving Beatrice but the entire time you are forced through some very painful self reflection. Let's just say Dante hasn't had a life well lived. The story is told in three types; in game cut-scenes, pre-rendered cut-scenes, and animated shorts. The variety is great and each (particularly the animated) lends well to the over all atmosphere.

an example of the animated cut scenes

While it certainly won't win any awards for originality Dante's Inferno does have some awe inspiring art and architecture. The levels of Hell are all beautifully and disturbingly rendered. I've heard the jaded gamer cry out about how this game was just churned out of the industrial machine to appease "that" demographic, but honestly it is more than that. Many of the games stages are down right jaw dropping, not in pixel power and bump mapping mind you, but in concept and design.

The only major gripe I had with the game was eight completely out of left field "challenge circles" right before the last layer of Hell. This feels random and almost like a cop out, as though they couldn't think of anything for the semi circles of liars. It was lame and out of place. Also, the combat often occurs in the same way, you enter an area, the entrance and exit are cut off, fight wave after wave, repeat. I know this bothers a lot of people, not me, but it's a pet peeve of some. That aside, the boss battles are suitably epic and the levels are designed well.

One thing I will give the game kudos for is its use of tangential learning. It gives you the opportunity to learn more about the source material as well as the time period and people from it. There is some really fascinating information in this game. In a way it's almost brilliant, combing a poetic masterpiece with a hack and slash game to deliver something with enriching source material to a demographic that would otherwise never think of exploring it. I wonder where they got that formula... Obviously this game is no where near as important as the poem on which it is based, and yes the concept itself of making a game out of the Divine Comedy is a bit silly, but in the end we are left with a good not great action heavy game with some striking and powerful imagery and some very heartfelt moments. Due mostly to the character design it walks the line of parody, but chooses to play it straight. I honestly can't say whether that was a good idea or not, but I can say this game is a fun distraction at the least. Dante's Inferno the game isn't as monumental as the literary work, but that doesn't make it a bad game.

So yes, I managed to make it through this entire game without once likening it to "going through Hell" (har har har). No Hell would be more akin to playing Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness, but I'll get to that later.

Things I Should Like, But Don't: Borderlands

A while back I reviewed Borderlands, calling it a fun and addictive but flawed game. I liked it, so why has it made the list of Things I Should Like, But Don't, you ask? Well it has to do with an interview of Gearbox's Creative Director Mikey Neumann. The interview was an open Q&A about "Anthony Saves The World" (a fun series by the way, starring Neumann and Anthony Burch of 'Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin' fame). Durring this Q&A a fan asked Mikey about his public resume (available on the Gearbox site), saying that he listed Chrono Trigger as his favorite game. The fan then asked if he had any intention of making an RPG. Mr. Neumann responded flippantly that he already had "umm little game called borderlands, if you've heard of it" the answer was rude, arrogant, and wrong... well kind of.

I respectfully disagree that Borderlands is an RPG. It has certain RPG elements, but having loot and leveling up does not make your game an RPG, certainly not one you can compare to Chrono Trigger. Simply put, I do not enjoy Borderlands as an RPG because represented as such, it is a complete failure. What if I tried to sell you Prince of Persia: Forgotten Sands as an RPG. You certainly play a role and you even level up abilities. The game is fun, but one would not buy and be satisfied with PoP as an RPG. I enjoyed Borderlands as a First Person Shooter, not as an Role Playing Game, but if the creator insists it is as such then I have to say; I don't like it.

Only Slightly Delayed: Jurassic The Hunted

Well I was going to do an article on Trophies/Achievements but alas, I procrastinated and now someone else did it (and probably better). So instead I will now regale you with a story of why it's so awesome to be me, and how I had a fantastic time playing what many consider a bad game.

Jurassic: The Hunted is First Person Shooter set in the Bermuda Triangle where you shoot dinosaurs to your hearts content. If you didn't just high-five yourself after reading that blurb then you're probably not as excitable as I am about dinosaurs. J:H is also a b-movie, only it's a game… The gameplay is smooth and satisfying but the acting is abominable. The dialogue sounds like it was written by a 14 year old and all the motion capture seems like it was from marionettes, and it all ends up being amazing. These hackneyed elements combined with actually satisfying gameplay create a strangely mesmerizing experience. This is an extremely unique game. It is akin to Troll 2 or The Room, it is so awful, but still playable, so the poor elements become entertaining. This game squeezes in amongst the "so bad it's good" crowd.

The story goes something like this. Generic every-merc Dylan is on an escort mission with a "scientist" to the Bermuda Triangle when something goes horribly wrong. A magic mcguffin opens up and time goes haywire. Now you're on an island trying to find your team through waves of dinosaurs. Now, if shooting a dilophosaurus in the face on top of a volcano doesn't interest you then I'd suggest you stop reading now. For me, it's nirvana.

Being stuck in a time warp Dylan has to use whatever weapons he can find. These run the gambit from single shot Black Powder rifles to a Plasma Gun. Also, Jurassic: Hunted had an exploding bolt crossbow before it was cool. As I said before the mechanics in this game are great, the gunplay is fast and fluid and does not feel awkward at all. The addition of things like Civl War camps and World War 2 ships really helps add to the atmosphere of the mysterious circumstances you're in.

There is a Trophy/Achievement called "Clever Girl" that you get from being killed by a Raptor melee. Best Trophy Ever.

The environments get the job done, there's not much range (jungle, volcano, cave, jungle opening) but the game looks good enough. It's not eye candy, but it's not painful to look at, plus there aren't any screen tearing or slowdown issues, which is wonderful on a budget title. The one thing the game toted as it's unique feature was something called Adrenaline Mode, which is basically just bullet time BUT you can see the vital organs of the whatsitsaurus you're about to shoot giving you a tactical edge. Honestly, I think this feature works better than "traditional" bullet time. Adrenaline slows down everything, even you (unlike most games wherein bullet time you still have some semblance of speed). This means it's much more about your accuracy and less about you just slowing down time to cheat.

The game does have it's fair share of actual faults though. Segments are often repeated specifically "kill a ridiculous amount of dinos from a turret" and "kill a ridiculous amount of dinos from the fort you're in (that you need to repair)" These missions tend to outstay their welcome. Another downer; despite nazis being insinuated in the plot (a level where you travel to a u-boat) you never actually see any nazis. That would have been the cherry on top of this game to include nazis along with dinosaurs. Hilarious!

All in all, yes J:H is a budget title and it certainly shows in the story and acting departments, but honestly, the game as a whole is a laughably fun adventure. Plus it doesn't hurt that the game came out as a budget title ($40) and can now be found for $15 or less. While I know many will not enjoy this game the same way I did I can't help but feel it was one of the better games I've played in recent memory. If only because I was genuinely entertained and was laughing out loud at the atrocious dialogue.

Speaking of dinosaur games, check out the trailer for the new Jurassic Park Game from Telltale! I am so flippin excited for this one!

Latersaurus