From Mass Negelct to Mass Affection: The Story of Matt Shepard

I was finally able to play through Bioware's acclaimed space opera Mass Effect 2 recently and if you listen to my ramblomatic podcast OpinionHated then you already have a decent gauge as to my opinion on said game. I wanted to further flesh out my opinion though, because if you did indeed listen to OpinionHated then in addition to being an incredibly charming and handsome person you are also well aware of the fact that I was quite tired when said cast-o-pod was recorded. And if you don't listen to OpinionHated, then you are probably sick of me mentioning it and would like me to get on with the article.

I really, really enjoyed my time with Mass Effect 2. The universe they created for the game feels vast, but manageable at the same time. I never felt overwhelmed, but I did feel at times as though I were a mere speck on a magnificent canvas. This point of scope stuck with me into my daily life as I catch myself frequently looking up at the stars at night and simply contemplating the vastness of it all. I'm reminded of a quote from Jayne Cobb "I've been to the edge, just looked like more space"

The setting, I found, was so magnificent that it seemed to cover up a flaw I had no idea existed until after the endgame. The story and [new] characters aren't all that interesting. The first half of the game is spent building your team for the suicide mission, and the last half is spent running errands for your crew. I just felt like there wasn't enough time to get to know people.

Basically you get one mission to learn more about a particular crew member then from there on out they are just support (barring the occasional conversation aboard the Normandy). The issue I have with this is that the characters are left with one defining trait... well, two perhaps, they are the (Initial Impression) with the (secondary attribute gleaned from Loyalty Mission), so for instance: Miranda is the (By the books Cerberus Officer) with (family issues). Jacob is the (former Alliance Officer) with (family issues). Thane is the (slick assassin) with... (...family issues...). Samara is the (crazy Justicar) with... yeah... (family issues)...

Alright, put on your hipster glasses cause here comes the part where I get pretentious and pick apart a genuinely good game to fit my own taste: I just wish there were more gameplay-driven story elements with getting to know your crew. Every time it goes back to the Normandy it's as if the game pauses. Honestly Mass Effect is akin to Sci-fi Football. You start a level, shoot a few guys, then go back to the Normandy to talk. The way the game is broken up is just plain jarring. Sure there are the occasional planet side trips where you have to talk to someone before the shooting starts, but the characters you bring along with you are silent, even during most conversations they just kind of hover. Even back as far as the SNES days we had this type of story telling down, no excuses Bioware.

As I eluded to earlier, the new characters in Mass Effect 2 are all pretty samey. You meet: the cold calculating assassin Thane; the cold calculating robot Legion; the crazy because of rules Samara; the crazy because of no rules Jack; the boring bland Jacob; and the boring bland Miranda. Kasumi is a thief, and Grunt is a Krogan. On the other hand the returning characters were terrific. I was, in short, an idiot to play the 2nd game and think I could get away with it. I need to play the first game (the issue there being that I also need a. better computer or b. xbox 360). I got Mass Effect 2 on the word of the developers who swore up and down that you could go into the sequel having not played through the first and have a full and complete experience. They lied.

The characters who return from Mass Effect 1 are fabulous. They are a tad bit more fleshed out, and I imagine had I played the previous entry I would have even more of an attachment to them. Honestly, I was bummed when I found out I couldn't romance Garrus, he was freaking cool. Then again, I quite enjoyed have Tali around, despite being an alien she had the most human and endearing qualities out of any woman on the ship. I genuinely enjoyed her character, which set up the final mission perfectly *SPOILERS AHEAD*

The main reason I left this game with a positive feeling, despite previously deriding it, was the fact that I knew the suicide mission could mean the end of my entire team and crew. Here I can say that Bioware did their job, because all it takes is one. You need only care about one team member, and the stakes will be raised. By this point I wanted to keep Tali alive, because my suave, amnesia ridden, pencil-stache sporting Shepard couldn't live without her and her nervous-adorable nature. I kept Tali on my team for the entire mission, figuring that would be my best chance at keeping her alive. After I defeated the big bad there was a cutscene in which the platform you are on breaks apart and Tali fell to her [near] death. At that moment I let out a tasteful and restrained, but still audible "no", followed by a smirk, and a "good job bioware".

Tali ended up surviving, to which I was extremely grateful, but alas, Legion didn't make it. I can only image how epic that mission would have been if I had truly cared about all the characters. Also, I know this is a cheap shot, the voice actor for Male-Shep is terrible.

So that is Mass Effect 2. I have high hopes for ME3, namely that I will be able to get to know my crew (or at the very least my current team configuration) outside the Normandy. Also, I'm praying the story is better than "The Big Bad is coming. Assemble your team, save everything", but Bioware would never do something like that... right?

Opinion Hated Episode 3

Matt and Jeremy talk about stuff like Catherine, Mass Effect 2, Toy Story 3, Breaking Dawn and Title Fight. Not in that order.

Television Triumphant

When I look back on 2011 in a few years I know I will look back upon it fondly. Not because I scored an awesome job, or found out that I was going to be a father. No, 2011 will be the year that I found the most amazing television shows I've ever seen.... Okay, there may be a pinch of hyperbole in that, but just a dash. Please, allow me to explain. I have never had cable TV, so I missed out on a lot of shows as a child. Now, as a man-child, I am able to watch anything I want thanks to the wonderful magic of Netflix.

Bow-ties, and non violent conflict resolution, are cool: Doctor Who

I had always heard that Who is Where it's at (a-thank you). I went into this show expecting a slightly cheesy but fun BBC sci-fi show about a time traveling blue box. As it turns out, it certainly was cheesy and fun, but also mature and deeply moving. I spoke much of my love for this particular gem in a previous article. Yes, Doctor Who has silly moments, and if you can't enjoy those then you won't enjoy the show.

Shoot First, Screw Up: Torchwood

I knew going into this show that it wasn't nearly as good as the show it was spun off of (Doctor Who, if you were wondering). Torchwood was established in Doctor Who as an organization to collect alien artifacts to defend queen and country. The main character, Jack Harkness, can't die. So the show doesn't hold much dramatic tension and instead chooses to weigh what it can with people dying around Jack. This show is literally the opposite of Doctor Who, they use gratuitous violence to solve their problems, and they fail time after time. It was a solid show for the first two seasons, just a monster of the week type thing (think early Buffy). Where it really took off was season 3, Children of Earth. If Torchwood was only one season long, I would want it to be this season. It is only 5 episodes, but it is pure magic.

Classic Appa: Avatar

I have wanted to watch this show for years. I still remember when Chad made me sit down and watch the first episode, I was hooked... Unfortunately I didn't have cable. Well, thanks to Netflix I was finally able to catch it, and all I can say is wow... WOW! This show is fantastic! It has the depth, themes, and continuity of an anime, but the production values of a western cartoon. The characters are all so bent and broken, but they find peace in each other. The world they inhabit is gorgeous and so full of life! It's amazing how even an act as simple as combining two animals can make a world feel different, but familiar and magical at the same time. Also, the platypus-bear is now my favorite animal. In fact I'm gonna go ahead and say that's my spirit animal... yeah... I now have no excuse not to get this show on DVD, I must pass this on to my son.

Best of all, a new series is coming. Said by the creators (the same from the original) to be darker and more mature, AND 1920's esque steam punk world with asian-jazz fusion music homygawthisismydreamcometrue.

/fanboysqueeling

Opinion Hated Ep 2

Call of Juarez: The Cartel

I was thinking about picking up Call of Juarez: The Cartel eventually and comparing it to Bound in Blood. If you have the keen memory of an elephant, or perhaps a dolphin, or even a human with exceptional memory, you might recall an article in which I praised Call of Juarez 2: Bound in Blood. I genuinely enjoyed that game, and was looking forward to a sequel. Well long story short the comparison plan has gone out the window. I will not be playing Cartel. I don't know how the studio went from such a high to an incredible low, but all I'm going to say about Cartel can be seen in this video.

http://penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/call-of-juarez-the-cartel

Peace.

Much Ado About Doctor Who

Lately I've found myself more than a little addicted to the BBC sci-fi classic Doctor Who. This started as a way to fill the void that the end of SG1 left me with, but has ended up as something greater. While I am not the foremost expert on the Doctor, I am a becoming quite the die hard fan, and I think I have figured out why. The Doctor is, short of the main Man Himself, the most Christlike figure I've ever seen on the telly.

When I began watching with the ninth Doctor I had been informed by many on that wonderful database of unbiased opinion: the internet, that the 10th is far and away the best. With this in mind I actually tried to resist David Tennant's charms at first. After all, I adored Christopher Ecclestons performance, and wanted to believe he would remain my favorite steadfast. In short, I was wrong. As a note, this article will focus on the 10th Doctor, as Russell T Davies stepped down with Tennant. The show feels a bit different with Matt Smith and Steven Moffat, but that is a discussion for another day.

Many years ago I used to participate in an activity called "Jesus at the Movies" it was a past-time started by my dear friend/pastor/father-figure/allaroundgreatguy Chad. Basically what we did was watch movies and then talk about them and where within them we saw Christ-like imagery (No, not literally pictures of Jesus... Ideas, themes). This has stuck with me, it's amazing how often one can come across these "Ghosts", ideals left imprinted in the very core of art and expression. Whether you believe it is Jesus, or just good nature, they are there.

In my mind the tenth Doctor is conjured alongside some of the greatest apologists in our history. Please, allow me to indulge with my nerdy muses.

Rose: [You can't go out there] Doctor, they've got guns.
The Doctor: And I haven't. Which makes me the better person, don't you think? They can shoot me dead but the moral high ground is mine.

One of the most noticeable and admirable traits of the Doctor is his dedication to non-violent resolution. Above that, he offers mercy to those that most would say do not deserve it. When he comes across a problem he always has to give them a choice. This was incredibly clear in the episode "The Poison Sky" in which at the end *SPOILERS* the Doctor could transport an atmospheric bomb onto the Sentaren ship and save the earth, but he doesn't. He can't do that, he has to go in person so he can give them a choice.

The Doctor has traveled far and wide, but one thing that Tennant portrays perfectly is his love for humanity. He has seen so much of us, literally the darkest we can be, but he still loves us. The Doctor will always go on about how magnificent the human race is. *MAJOR SPOILERS* In the episode "The End of Time pt.2" the Doctor is placed to finally "die" and he has to make the decision whether or not to sacrifice himself. He doesn't want to, and even dear old Wilfred is telling him not to, that he's an old man. In a moment that resembles Christs prayer in the garden of Gethsemane the Doctor paces the room, not wanting to die, but in the end he tells Wilf that it would be his honor.

This is the only video I could find of 10's death. The only difference is that Murray Goldman's epic score is replaced by Placebo... So I apologize for that, but the power is still there. This scene breaks my heart every time I watch it. Not because I adore David Tennant (well, not entirely because...) it is something else, something beyond the face value of this incredibly powerful moment. People tend to forget that, whether or not you believe He was God aside, Jesus did exist, and He was executed in a terrible and painful way. Personally I do believe that He is who He said, and that His sacrifice saved me, and that there is nothing I could ever do to deserve that grace. As silly as it sounds, that video above reminds me of that.

There are many other small examples; the Doctor's name is significant as a healer, he always seeks to do good and loves those that follow suit, he has two hearts, oh and he fought the devil that one time. On a bit of a darker note, death follows the doctor. No one said life with Christ would be easy, and if they did they were lying... ironic I suppose. Sometimes even I can get disillusioned to who Christ is. We live in a society (Speaking here to my American readers) that the popular image of Jesus is that of a staunch conservative, with a gun in one hand and the deserving few and wealthy embraced in his other arm. This is not right. Jesus did not kill, He loved. That is my Jesus, a man of joy and a man with the weight of all the sin of the world on His shoulders. A man who time means nothing to, and who humanity means everything. My Jesus is Lord, and a bit TimeLord.

Enslaved: Odyssey to the- Wait, What?

I find it quite astonishing how many people I speak to who have no idea what Enslaved: Odyssey to the West is. Even my friends that skim game sites on a daily basis weren't in the know (save for a a select few). In hindsight though this speaks to reason as the lackluster sales of Enslaved has dashed the hopes of a sequel ever seeing the light of day. The news came from the studio itself (Ninja Theory) who are currently hard at work on the Devil May Cry reboot/prequel. The news made me sad, so I decided to finally sit down and record my thoughts about Enslaved.

Enslaved, to me, is a fantastic example of a strong linear narrative in an interactive medium. Keep in mind that I do not use linear here as a negative, just don't come into this game expecting emergent storytelling. There, now that I've got the pretentious explanation out of the way I can get on to the good stuff. The characters and the world they inhabit are simply stunning. This game has incredible art direction. It takes the drab apocalypse and turns it into a fab apocalypse! The lush, colorful environments are a welcome change to the games I've been playing lately.

The story is loosely based on the Eastern classic Journey to the West (in about the same way the first Resident Evil movie was based on Alice in Wonderland). It ends up being fairly broad in its scope and execution, or at least more so than I thought it would be. Basically, I went into this thinking it would be Escape From New York, but it ended up being more along the lines of, say, Visions of Escaflowne.

The characters are strong, which they should be, as there are only three. The performances tend to avoid the uncanny valley and would at times elicit the occasional emotional response. This was a wonderful treat seeing as I had just finished playing Oblivion in which the grand total of characters I had an emotional attachment to was zero. In fact is was probably somewhere deep in the negatives because I actively hated many of the people in Oblivion...

The actual game play mechanics is where some say the Enslaved falters. The staff swinging and shooting of monkey can be a bit wonkey at times, but it remains enjoyable for the most part. Sometimes platforming can get frustrating as jumping is irritatingly context sensitive.

In the end I would certainly recommend this title. In fact I would love it if the Enslaved got a large, noticeable boost in used sales, making it financially viable to make a sequel. I'll admit, there's not much here in the way of "games as art" other than just being a fun game, but that's not a bad thing. I think back on my time with Enslaved like a good book, one I will certainly revisit later because of the vibrant art direction and enjoyable characters. Anything I'm willing to play twice can at the very least be considered a good game... or at least an okay game... well by any means it's certainly a game.

Oblivion Journal: Entry III

It has been a while since my last entry, I've lost count of the days. I've been instructed by Jaufree to get as many Allies as possible to protect Martin the Bastard... I'll get around to it eventually.

A man rode past me on a horse so I killed him out of instinct, seems he was just a messenger. Looks like I'm growing an entire garden of oopsie daisies.

Killed some more people on the road, they attacked me first... I seem to have developed a sniffle, I should get some rest before I get sick!

hmmm.... turns out rest was a bad idea, I'm a Vampire now... Not exactly sure how but no matter, I spoke to a guy who told me about a guy that knows where a guy is with a cure!

Day ???

Whoa, not a guy with the cure, but she could have fooled me. This witch wants me to find a bunch of crap, shouldn't be an issue for the HERO OF KVATCH.

Day ???

Like I said before, not an issue, got all the junk. All that's left now is to turn it all in.

hmmm... The witch is just staring at me blankly when I try to hand her my neatly trimmed Blood Grass. Perhaps if I try shooting it at her with my bow.

Well the message got across, but not the one I wanted. Had to kill the witch. She didn't think much of it when she got back up... but she still won't make me the potion... bitch...

Day ???

Sunlight burns the flesh... I hate being a vampire... Oh well, I have my a mission! Get aids!

Day sevntythree

Found a lovely little town, and they said they'll send aid to Bruma if I close that pesky Oblivion Gate outside! No problem citizens! I can't wait to see what unique and diverse situations I'll encounter gathering aid for to protect the Martin!

Day Atey

Found another village! Looks like they need a me to close an Oblivion Gate! Off I go!

Day 81

At another Town, sounds like they've got an Oblivion Gate problem! Third times the charm!

Day 82

Hmmm... there seems to be a rash of these Oblivion things... Guess I'll shut this one down too so they can send aids

Day 83

Seriously...

Day 84

Guess what I did today...

Day 85

This better be the last one....

Day 86

Commence hair pulling....

Day nineD

at last! I have gathered all my allies! Now to take the fight to the man... whos name I've forgotten

Day whatever

I'm sick of being a vampire, it has left me quite bitter...

Accidentally killed guard after we opened an Oblivion GREAT balls of Gate, they tried to arrest me... had to kill like eight guards... I almost feel bad. Almost.

This day

Decided to travel to the big city. A guard tried to arrest me, blood filled the streets.


Day Day

Being a vampire has made me incredibly bitter, I will kill anyone one at the drop of a hat, YOU SHOULD HAVE FIXED THE GLITCH BETHESDA. NOW ALL WILL SUFFER.


Day the last day

Well all hell broke loose, I killed some demons then the emporer bastard Martin turned into a dragon and killed the bad thing. Whoop-de-freakin-doooo. They made soem armor for me apparently, but I can't pick it up for two weeks. I will fill those two weeks with the blood of the innocent.

I am still a vampire. I am sad.

Oblivion Journal: Entry II

Day Ate

I was woken up up by some creeper in a hood last night, said something about joining a club called the Black Hand. Seems kind of sketchy, but all I have to do to join is murder someone, so I'll sleep on it.

I had to talk a dreadfully unattractive woman out of a book about cults today. Luckily I didn't have to use my masculine wilds. Then later I went on a wonderful romp through the sewers with my new friend whats-his-name, who was kind enough to take out his sword and point out exactly where an enemy was he wanted me to kill.

After we disbanded a local cult whats-his-name left me to wander the sewers by myself. I'm sure nothing bad will come of this.

I seem to be stuck in between two gates, no matter, nothing will dampen my spirits or resolve!

I had to kill myself, my resolve is intact, though my spirit is a bit soggy... Back to questing!

Day Nein

Deja vu, had to tear through the same cult. Now I have all the books I need to unravel the mystery of the Blue Oyster Cult! The code was easy enough to break, pro tip: IT'S THE GIANT RED LETTERS... Now to make sense of it all...

It says something about a Green Emperor, so I guess I have to head to the Green Road! Off I go toward the Inn of Ill Omen, sounds like a quaint Bed and Breakfast.

Day Tin

I arrived at the Inn and the keeper told me about a man named Rufio in the basement... why does that name sound so familiar...

Now I remember, I was woken from my sleep several nights ago by a strange man in a hood who told me to kill Rufio! Wouldn't want to disappoint my fans!

After talking to Rufio it sounds like he has a sickness, and his symptoms include killing girls. The remedy? Take two arrows and call me in the morning... from hell.

Day Heleven

That strange hooded man woke me up again, surely he has come to reward me for my righteous deed of slaying the evil Rufio.

Turns out I'm now a member of the Black Hand, a fairly crazy cult in its own right.

Tried to kill the guy, I knocked him down, but he got up again, I'm never gonna keep him down. Luckily despite just sitting through a lecture about NEVER betraying the black hand he seemed pretty cool with the whole "attempted murder" thing. Maybe this cult won't be so bad after all!

Now what was I doing again... oh that's right! Cult Hunting!

Day Twelveth

I'm begining to think my original idea to check the Green Road was altogether wrong... Time to go back to the big city!

Finally made it back and found Green Emperor Way! Now, all I have to do is stand in this spot for 12 hours. Piece of Cake.

Day Fourteenth (for superstitious purposes)

Well that went by fast, and now I have a waypoint again! Off the find the cult!

Well I found them and was greeted with open arms, they want to make me a member! I let them take all my stuff, doesn't matter, they couldn't take away my deadliest weapons of all, my Ten Finger Furies.

So I was made a part of some blood letting ceremony, they didn't specify how much blood to let so I might have gone a bit over board. As soon as I got the Silver Dagger I killed everyone in the room (except the sacrifice, who ran away). I think they might not let me back in this club... Shame... No matter! I got the book I needed, now off to Cloud Ruler Temple!

Day fifteen

Apparently I need to pay more attention, I was supposed to grab an amulet or something. Whatever, I didn't hear anything about an amulet. I'm too handsome to pay attention to these peasants.

Well now I get to go spy hunting, time to hop on my steed and ride.

I rode straight down the face of the mountain and the spy was kind enough to be waiting for me at the bottom! One arrow later the spy problem was dealt with. Check and mate.

Aha! There is another Spy to find! Back to spy hunting.

Again, the spy was kind enough to be waiting at the bottom of the hill, I am the ultimate spy hunter!

Oblivion Journal: First Entry

I recently got Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (5th anniversary edition for PS3, if you were wondering) and I'm only a few hours in. That said, this game is going to take many many hours. So instead of doing a summary of my experience at the end, I figured I would try something a bit different with Oblivion. I am going to be keeping a journal of sorts from the perspective of my brave avatar, so prepare yourself for the adventure and ridiculousness of Mattimus the Quiet.

Day Oneth

I'm in a dungeon! Not sure how... or why... also I think I might have changed genders over night, this may warrant further investigation. I heard the sultry voice of one Captain Jean-Luc Picard in a dream, today is going to be a good day!

The Emperor himself paid me a visit in my cell! I knew today would be good! I followed him around for a bit to listen to his voice, but then he died... shame really.

Day Two by two

I'm not in a dungeon! The Emperor sent me on a quest, so questing I will go. I saw a small encampment so I thought I would check it out. Upon investigation I discovered that people there really don't like interruptions, but I knew I could handle the situation with Diplomacy.

After a few stabs from Diplomacy the situation was handled and I was 3 gold pieces richer. Bam.

Day the Third

I picked up an arrow and now I can't move... This is troubling... I made my way to meet some guy named Jaufree, who is supposed to know where to find one of the Emperor's love children. He gave me the information I needed, so I continued on my merry way. I felt a horse would be the best way to travel so I hopped on one at the local stable.

... Turns out I stole the horse. The owner and a guard chased me several miles but I eventually out ran them (sans horse). I'm sure since I returned the horse and the whole thing was a misunderstanding that this will have no negative connotations in the future. None whatsoever.

Day-to-be Four

I went to hell today, that was interesting. Well, technically it was Oblivion, but it's like hell. I also ripped the hearts out of several guards. When in Rome!

I found Martin the Bastard! He doesn't like it when I call him that but I think it's hilarious, so the little bastard will just have to deal with it.

We helped bring a castle town out from the control of demons. During which I accidentally struck down a guard, but he got in the way of my arrow so I'm sure my friends won't mind. After all, it was an accident in the heat of battle.

Whoa, turns out they do mind, I had to kill all of my friends... oh well, fresh slate! and Martin doesn't seem to mind!

Day ofeth Five

Martin, Jaufree and Myself are now headed toward the head quarters of the Blades. I think I see a fellow horsemen up ahead, I'll stop and give greetings.

Turns out it was a guard who only wanted to arrest me, hardly seems fair... So I killed him. Martin objected, but I knocked him out again and then he was fine. It's nice to know your friends have reset buttons.

We finally reached the Blades HQ but we can't get in without Jaufree and he is missing. Now I have to go find his lazy ass. Went into then out of a building, then back to the HQ and Jaufree was there! I also missed something important apparently, but I don't care, I'm far to handsome. Besides! I have a new quest! Time to head to the big city!

Dayeth the Six

Met some new friends on the road! Had to kill them though, they started it.

I made it to the big city! A guard is ahead, I shall ask his friendly muscular frame for directions!

They arrested me! No idea why, I think I smell bullshit... well any way, I'll just sleep off my sentence and everything will be fine.

Day Sev

I made it out of prison, I feel slower, dumber and weaker, but better for the experience... and now I can't move... This is slightly troubling.

To be continued...

Bioshock Me Once, Shame on You. Bioshock Me Twice...

***SPOILERS AHEAD, ye be warned

I hold the original Bioshock on a very high pedestal. Its approach toward deconstruction of a linear narrative was, in a word, phenomenal. I was near giddy when I heard the good people at 2k were planning a return trip to that underwater paradise (lost) Rapture. Then the news broke that you would be playing as a Big Daddy, and in my mind from then on it seemed much more like a cash grab then a fully fleshed out sequel.

Honestly, that is what it feels like most of the time. It just doesn't seem like a story that anyone really wanted to tell. Bioshock was a big enough hit that they had to make a sequel, so they started with the idea (gimmick) that you would play as a Big Daddy. From there they made a decent story to wrap reason around exactly what you're doing in Rapture.

They just went in the wrong direction with Bioshock 2. The reason Rapture was so captivating in the first was due to the mystery. Seeing a mans dreams and ideals be destroyed by human nature was riveting. Almost all that effect is lost in Bioshock 2. Ironically, they started with the right idea. The opening cinematic shows Rapture as it was before it went to hell in a hand basket. The rest of the game I couldn't shake the feeling that I wanted to be playing that game. I wanted to see Rapture in all its glory, talk to normal people, watch someone record an audio diary.

Apparently the only thing to do in Rapture is record your thoughts

This is still a Bioshock game though, and at its core it delivers with a finely crafted twist. The entire game you are chasing after your Little Sister, who was taken from you by Sophia :amb, the new villian. While the first game took the path of slavery vs freedom, Bioshock 2 leans toward the act of choice. Namely that the choices you make don't really effect you. You can be a nice, mean, or neutral Big Daddy, but what you won't realize till the end of the game is that your actions were never meant to shape you, they were shaping who Eleanor (your "Daughter") would become. In the end that is all that really matters about the game, and as a person standing at the precipice (read: several years away from) of parenthood, I found the message quite resonating. Who you are is not as important for yourself, not in the long run. When you have children, who you are can directly effect who they become.

So Bioshock 2 wasn't so bad after all. It didn't quite have the same impact as the first, but it did better than most. Lamb's anti-Ryan persona makes for a terrific antagonist, and filling in some of the blanks from the first game (even though done through audio diary) was a great touch. Also, there is a very cool scene toward the end where you play as a Little Sister, and you see Rapture through their eyes, very interesting stuff. If you were a fan of the first Bioshock I'd highly recommend it... If you haven't already played it... At the very least it can well stem the tide before Bioshock Infinite, which lets face it, looks AMAZING!

New subject matter for Infinite... Can't wait!

The Company We Keep

I am a Christian, and I hate to admit it, but I say that with trepidation. Why, you ask? Because when you identify yourself as such people will occasionaly (read: more often than not) group you in with what the media portrays as "Religious Folk"

These guys...

Now, that doesn't stop me from believing what I do, but it's frustrating. Obviously, Christians aren't the only people with this problem. Just take a trip to the airport and watch who gets randomly selected for extra security screening. I know it seems like I'm off topic, but don't worry, this article is about video games. You see the point of all this witty banter is to drive home the point that the company you keep can define you, for better or worse. That is why a group of people is often forced to defend against the actions of a few.

Here comes the point. I feel the same way about identifying myself as a "gamer" (argument for use of the term at all aside). I read and/or watch just about every review and article I can and I'm finding more often than not the people who "represent us" seem to be doing a poor job. Look around you take stock, the voices that represent us are: self entitled, whiny, bitter, and nostalgic to the point of ignorance. I would add "alarmist" to the list, but this article seems a bit-o-that so I think I'll lay off.

I honestly think that the problem is most people can't take a step back and look at gaming as a whole. It shouldn't be hard, but apparently it is. Think about it, video games have only been around for about 30 years. It's still a young medium (that has nothing to with artistic value, mind) and as such it seems like nonsense to be predicting the downfall of it. I suppose the majority of this has to do with the internet, now more than ever any person can work their way to fame and notoriety through fear and alarm (See: Glenn Beck). Gamers are not immune to this, far from it. It's tough to get noticed when all you do is enjoy games, but show them a little tough love, or seething hatred rather, and you're in like Flynn. That, in turn, leads to whining and moaning about every military FPS, and talking about how publishers are ruining games.

Newsflash: Gaming has always been like this. We used to be inundated with side scrollers, then technology changed and along came the "3d" platformer. There will always be popular genres, just because there are many games in one style does not mean that gaming has some how reached the end of its life. The things about trends is that they spawn imitators, it's kind of what makes them trends. It's just growing pains. There is not a lack of creativity, in fact as gaming continues to grow I believe developers will grow with it. Just like art, just like literature, just like film. David Jaffe says that journalists need to push developers. I say; push yourself Jaffe, off a cliff preferably (I kid... I kid). Do you think 'To Kill a Mockingbird' was written because Harper Lee was under intense scrutiny from her readers and the press, or because she wanted to tell a story. Take your best guess.

Pressure from outside sources isn't what we need. Just let people make the games they want to. Technology is becoming more accessible every day. True, the smaller indie studios might not have the budgets of the big publishers (though some certainly do) but at that point you're splitting hairs. Do you want a developers vision or a multi-million dollar blockbuster? They might not be one and the same for some time, but for the time being just play the one you want. Lucky me, I enjoy both.

There will always be bad games, games that are made for the purpose of making money (which isn't inherently a bad thing), and games that are just okay. The existence of these games is not bad for the industry. If anything they can be used as lessons for what not to do. Good developers are constantly learning. It doesn't matter how far ahead you look to the future, there will always be those meh games. How can I be so certain of this? Easy, we've been writing for over 2500 years and we still manage to churn out crap. The only choice you have with par games is whether or not you play them (and through extension, whether or not you complain about them). Every game can't be tailor made for your tastes, stop being so self entitled. Seriously, stop it.

Video games make money, so they will attract people that just want to make money. However, it also is a valid artistic expression, so it will also bring in people who genuinely want to express a vision. There will never be a singularity that leads to a gaming utopia where every game is as awesome as Bioshock. A great example of that is the fact that not everyone loved Bioshock. Gaming will change, but not in the drastic (and alarmist) ways that people fear and blog about. The Wii didn't do it, nor will the Wii U obviously. So please don't worry fellow nerds, our beloved hobby is here to stay. So to recap; will you be able to recognize gaming in 30, 40, or 50 years? Well, the answer is YES, and no, but don't forget the first part is yes, so please stop whining.

"The PS Vita is just an iphone"

Boy, that was a little angrier than I thought... So am I famous yet?

...

The Force Unleashed Who?

Last weekend I was able to blast through Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II (No pun intended). It is a rather short game and would have certainly been much better suited as DLC, but I got it for scratch so I can't complain. That's right, stop reading now if you want to hear a seething rant about what an insult this game was. Honestly, it's a fun game. There may be one QTE too many for a few people but other than that the action is fast, fun, and you feel powerful. Like really, really powerful.

As a matter of fact as Starkiller you are so ridiculously devastating to the Empire that one has to wonder. As you plow through company after company of nameless troopers you can't help but think "how is it that no one in episodes 4, 5, and 6 ever mentions that one jedi who took out like HALF the Empire by himself and started the rebellion." That really is the biggest fault of FU II (oh how clever, Lucas Arts) the story is so inconsequential while at the same time being hugely affective. In the words of Bart Simpson it manages to both "suck and blow".

I really like the idea behind the first game. A secret apprentice who ***SPOILER*** starts the rebellion then dies, the end. A sequel just didn't need to happen. But it did, and ***MORE SPOILERS*** It actually ended with sequel bait! I was absolutely blown away that this short of a game would end with a hook for a third game, and talk about consequence, they have captured Darth Vader.

I can absolutely see them carrying on this series until literally the first scene of A New Hope. On that note I'm actually a bit terrified that Lucas Arts will continue to make these games through the original trilogy, and I don't mean in that interesting retcon/alternate history way.

Bet you didn't know this was only moments after Starkiller was knocked out by Vader

God I hope no one at Lucas Arts reads my blog...

All in all I have to say that I did enjoy playing both Force Unleashed games far more then watching the prequel trilogy. The story is silly, but the game is fun to play. Though this time around you don't get to slaughter any Wookies, Jawas, or Ewoks... So points off for that I suppose.

Obligatory Blog Update

Some of my handful of loyal readers might have noticed that my articles have slowed down as of late. I just wanted to make clear the reason for my absence. I just got a new job last month (an awesome job I love by the way) so that has been devouring most of my time. Aside from that I am a far better husband than I am a blogger and I dedicate most of the rest of my time to my wife. Now fear not, I am not going to quit this lovely little gig of yelling my nothingness to the deep abyss we refer to as the internet. Far from it.

At the moment I'm in the process of expanding this little slice of opinion to incorporate a few more... opinions... First of all I'm starting a new page with my wife dedicated to marriage and gaming. Other than that I've lined up some A-list talent to contribute to the re-hauled Worlds Worst Critic. I'm not sure when this new Uber Blog will go live, but hopefully it won't be too long a wait. In the meantime though, I'll continue writing as usual for WWC. I've managed to squeeze in a few games the two weeks and I've even got an article about music brewing. So stay tuned, I have not abandoned you yet.

A Brief Reflection on Portal 2

It was no secret that I was excited beyond belief for Portal 2. As of the date of this posting I have finished the single player campaign. Unfortunately I haven't had any time to play the co-op so I'll only be commenting on what I thought of the "main story". Just a heads up, as usual this article will contain plenty of SPOILERS so I would recommend you turn tail if you haven't finished single player yet.

Short version: Portal 2 is exactly the game I thought it would be and I absolutely adored it. Long version...

The reason I loved this game so much was because it is hands down one of the best story telling experiences I've had in years. The team at Valve did a lot of homework and crafted a game that draws from equal parts Bioshock, Half Life, and...well, Portal. This is a game where "play, don't show" took center stage. The story unfolds in two acts more so than three (it seems to go prologue, act I, act II, epilogue). There is technically a third act, but it was a bit brief (not that's a bad thing).

The voice acting and dialogue is all top notch. This game had me laughing out loud almost entirely throughout. In addition to the hilarity of PA messages, they were also informative (toward the story and/or history). This rang especially true in the "old" Aperture labs. The way you hear Cave Johnson deteriorate was fantastic. This brings me to the other captivating part of Portal 2, the atmosphere.

Wow. The atmosphere in this game is great. It is constantly subtly changing as you progress which actually lends to the sense of progression and avoids tedium. I mean, think about it, you go from jungle over grown labs, to watching the facility put itself back together until it resembles Portal, then going through the old labs, then watching the facility fall apart. I'll give special mention here to the "old Aperture" labs. That portion blew me away, it was phenomenal. The trophy case that you can look in (if you choose) that divulges the origin of Aperture was a great touch. Of course, the reason I love this part so much probably has something to do with my mild obsession with abandoned things.

That's what I love about Portal 1 and 2, the story is gets deeper if you want it two. If you want, you can take time to stop and read signs or writing on the wall. It's the players choice. In my opinion the fact that this game had me wanting to learn everything I could speaks volumes about its story. One that Valve provided without resorting to codex' or lengthy journal entries. This was very much a visual, playable history.

So there you have it. Portal 2 is great, but you probably already knew that. Oh and there are some puzzles and stuff in the game too... those were fantastic as well.

The System is Down, The System is Down

As most my readers know my current system of choice is Sony's Playstation 3. Many of my readers also probably know that last week the Playstation Network was intruded upon by some rather unscrupulious characters. I've been meaning to write on this topic for a while but nothing has really come to mind. Yes it is a tragedy, no Sony didn't deserve it, yes the people that did do it should be shot in the kneecaps and thrown in prison, but that's aside the point.

What bummed me out last week wasn't hearing about how my credit card information may or may not be compromised, it was the reaction. Across every message board and comment page you would find the same ugly thing, fanboy's starting flame wars. This is one of the "being taken seriously as an industry" topics.

Right now video games are only taken seriously, in large, as a way to make money. There is not much we as "gamers" can do or say to defend that when tragedy strikes and the only way the majority of people know how to respond is by taking advantage of it to boast how superior they're system of choice is. It's just disheartening to see things like "Sony deserved it" and "all you retards that use PSN had this coming".

No matter where you go or what you do there will always be a concentration of bad apples. It just seems that there is a pretty ridiculously high concentration among our ranks. We need to stop and take stock of whats important; having fun playing video games, or arguing about why the system your mom bought you is superior to the system your friends mom bought them. We're not all grade-schoolers anymore people.

A lot of people are pegging the PSN crack on the fact that Sony sued Geohotz for cracking the PS3. Honestly, I was never on either side during this debate. I think that if you buy a machine you can do whatever you want with it. That said, cracking something is generally (read: almost always) used to pirate games and software. I think Sony has a right to protect their investment. Geohotz is not some robin hood, fighting for the people, and neither are the ones that broke into the PSN, but I think that painfully obvious now.

Substantially less funny IRL

The most terrifying part of all of this is that it could have been done in part or wholly by a "rogue element" of Anonymous. This group of hackers has their own agenda and claims to represent the voice of the people. I certainly would avoid doing anything to upset them, and that right there is the problem. This group leverages its unique power with fear to attempt to control or alter situations. How is that any different from the government or large corporations. It seems far to easy for a group like Anonymous to lose sight of its original goal.

If you were wondering, no I'm not going to jump ship from Sony. First and foremost the PSN being down didn't phase my gaming at all. My wife was able to play Castlevania: Lords of Shadow without issue and I was able to enjoy Folklore without error. I understand how the story is different for a great many people who enjoy playing online, but for me personally, it wasn't a big deal.

The people at fault here are those that would, without conflict of conscious, steal and attempt to sell the private information of millions. I don't care what system you own, that is wrong on a colossal level. Sony took a lot of precautions with the PSN, including encrypting customer data. Yes, you will find other websites on the internet that say otherwise, and honestly there is no way to prove it unless you work at Sony, but Sony has said as much and I'd like to believe them. The fact of the matter is that the people the Sony pissed off (unjustifiably) were very, very good at what they do.

Time For Wild Speculation!

The big N had a "leak" this week and it was a biggin. Provided all the information (from multiple sources, mind you) is true we will be getting a glimpse of a brand new Nintendo System at this years E3. This seems like a bit of a shock following so closely to the release of the 3DS, but with Nintendo's financial dominace the last few years this new platform has me curious.

Details are sketchy at best but preliminary reports indicate that this will indeed be a fully HD system, set to possibly even give the PS3 and 360 a run for their collective money... again. Also, while some reports are saying it will be backward compatible to the Wii, the primary focus of this console will be to grasp the "core demographic" once again. One leak has stated that the controller, as of now, features two analog sticks and a built in LED screen, which could possibly be a touch screen.

The code name for the project is "Cafe" which is odd, but hey, does anyone else remember the "Dolphin"? If I had to make a wild guess, which of course I will, I would say that "Cafe" is a good indicator that this system will be more focused on the social side. Nintendo has had issues with this before, the Wii was a bit of a disaster online, but the 3DS is certainly moving toward a social market and appeal. In addition, there will almost assuredly be 3DS interconnectivity.

Now that you have all the facts allow me to gush about how awesome this move is on Nintendo's part (please note I am in no way, shape, or form a Nintendo fanboy).

The Wii was a powerful force that took many by surprise. It was accessible but not to the point of alienating its core fans too much. While I do think the motion controls were gimmicky, it still managed to put out a fairly solid library of games, mountains of shovel ware excluded. Simply put, the Wii managed to put Nintendo in a very good position financially. You have to remember, Microsoft and Sony took a huge hit to the wallet the first several years of production while Nintendo was making a profit.

Now it is about 5 years later, the "average" cycle for a system, and Nintendo is ready to launch a new one... but where is the competition? Sony and Microsoft are both trying to stretch out the life of their respective systems for another 3, 4 or possibly even 5 years. That's why they introduced the Move and Kinect. That means Nintendo is going to be first to the market with a shiny new toy, and be the best on the market to beat.

Simply put, Nintendo is poised to dominate once again; core demographic, casual, social. Word is that Nintendo is already showing the build to third party developers, which could even mean a solid launch with good titles. Granted this is all just conjecture at this point. but the big N always seems to be a step ahead lately. There is a small, and I mean minute chance, that this system could go the way of the Dreamcast. There could be a gap in development between the established 360/PS3 crowd and developers might not be willing to take a chance on it. That said, however, this is a Nintendo console, so the majority of "must have" titles will be first party.

I don't know what will happen come 2012, but what I do know is that I am darn excited for E3 this year... maybe I'll try to get a press pass. I'm sure they wouldn't mind giving full press access to a nerd with a blog!

You Should Trust Me When I Say You Shouldn't Trust Me: A Meta-Review

A fair warning, this is probably the most pretentious thing I've ever written. That said, it is written out of love, not for the sake of hearing my pretentious opinions. Now then, on to today's topic: Fact vs Opinion.

I really like video games, but you probably already knew that. You probably also know that I like to talk about games. I will be absolutely honest with you; my opinion doesn't mean much. That's not to say it's worthless, it holds value to me and a handful of friends, but overall it's not very valuable to anyone who isn't me. Why bring this up? Well to be honest, and this is a big one, I feel that the game industry as a whole has lost a lot of journalistic integrity. That is not wholly the fault of the industry, far from it, it is simply the fact that there is no monitor for what is put on the Internet. From sites like IGN who present themselves as a professional source to Blistered Thumbs as the "indy scene" reviews and even previews are being presented in mind numbing fashion. That is to say, they are being presented with a heavy slant on personal opinion.

Opinions must be presented delicately when in a journalistic fashion because the people reading might not be able to separate fact from fiction. The unfortunate part being when someone mistakes opinion for fact and misses out on an experience because of it. It is all to common to see on message boards below a review "Yeh dis gai wus totaly rite, dis gaem lookd like it SUCKD". Granted, such jargon would usually be found under a video review, as the writer probably isn't to fond of reading. It is for this reason that when I review a game I never give it a final score or grade. There is simply no such thing as a universal grading system for games because Video Games are in themselves unique experiences and as such each person will have differences in approaching, playing, and reviewing them.

An Example: Let's say two people played Minecraft for about 20 minutes each. Your character begins life in a randomly generated world with nothing to his name but his fists and a penchant for punching trees. Player 1 immediately beings experimenting and discovers how to use the wood to build a work bench, tools and so on. Before long Player 1 has secured a cave home with a few torches to keep him safe. Player 2, on the other hand, spends the entire time harassing chickens and pigs until the sun sets, where upon he is killed by several zombies, a spider, and perhaps a Creeper for good measure. At this point Player 2 would likely comment how lame this game is and move on to something more stimulating to their own tastes. Meanwhile Player 1 is busy mining and building a new home and having a great time.

It is easy to see how these vastly different experiences will relate to vastly different reviews. Even to the point where the player's individual past experiences would make a difference. I know that my childhood spent playing with Legos and my love of the Harvest Moon franchise greatly contributed to my pleasant experience with Minecraft. Personally, I find that I disagree with the "professional reviewers" quite often. To the point where I have to wonder if some of them even have fun playing games. Again, this is all just opinion.

Just recently I saw a preview by Greg Miller, one of the foremost editors on IGN, declaring that he was not impressed with the current build of Ratchet and Clank: All 4 One. He didn't have a lot of fun playing it, fair enough, but that isn't true for everyone. Instead of just presenting the facts he is putting his own personal feelings into the mix. The same goes for Bennett the Sage from Blistered Thumbs. In a recent review he lamented how boring a game was and the tedium of "gaming now-a-days" (which by the way sparked that awesome rebuttal by Benzaie 'Gaming in the 90s Sucked'). As I said before I don't have a problem with opinion. What I have a problem with is personal opinion presented as fact.

Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw of Zero Punctuation fame is just about the best reviewer I can think of. He makes it clear exactly what he is bias toward and against. Lets think about this though, Yahtzee will review a game, say, one that you really liked, and will tear it a new one. When asked why you didn't take his opinion it's easy to dismiss because hey, it's Yahtzee right? So why then would we defend the opinion of someone like Bennett the Sage, Angry Joe, or [insert IGN employee here]. What really grinds my gears is when a person presents opinion as fact, and it happens all the time. Every time a review professional uses relative terms like "boring" or my least favorite "repetitive" he is petitioning his subjective opinion under the guise of an objective review.

The fact of the matter is this simply isn't going to change, what needs to change is our perspective of reviews. It is, and will continue to be, simply one persons opinion, and it must be taken as that, just an opinion. The only person who will be able to tell you whether or not you will like a game is you.

Through our own individual experiences, prejudices and bias' we shape an entirely unique opinion. it would be a million to one shot to find a person to appropriately represent your opinion. You can find people with relatively similar opinions to latch onto, but relying on reviews, professional or otherwise, is a mistake. It's almost disheartening to think of how many people have passed on games they might have greatly enjoyed just because of a review.

Sorry for the rant, it's just my opinion.

TL;DR: Take reviews with a grain of salt

Only Slightly Delayed: A Review of Dante's Inferno

If you know me at all then I'm sure you are prepared for what I am about to say. Dante's Inferno is a good game.

Good, of course, is a relative term so allow me to explain further. First and foremost I suggest you watch this video by Benzaie (TGWTG), this is a topic I was planning on writing about and may do so in the future. Basically the game market today is very close to the game market of yesteryear. Back in the day (late 80's early 90's) popular titles were emulated, some were good, some were bad, most were just okay. This brings us to Dante's Inferno.

Dante's Inferno is a rip off of God of War in the same vein that Battlefield Bad Company is a rip off of Call of Duty. Both are good games and share very similar assets, that's all. For the sake of clarity I'll now disclose that I have not had much time with God of War, at the same time however, I am not ignorant to the features and game play. God of War, Bayonetta, Devil May Cry, Dante's Inferno and more are all examples (some perhaps better than others) of the new breed of Hack and Slash. Quite frankly all these outrageous and over-the-top characters are what all the attempts at system "mascots" were back in the day. Nowadays though we need something more edgy so instead of a silly blue hedgehog or possum with a jet pack we get angry brooders or buxom seducers. Sometimes you just have a sword, sometimes sword and guns, sometimes...hair... and occasionally something sharp at the end of a chain. The important thing is not what you use to deliver the damage but how you do it. If the pain is delivered via combos, or more accurately, button mashing, then you are usually enjoying a modern hack and slash.

Dante's Inferno gives you plenty of visually appealing ways to deal with bad guys, but ultimately you can beat the entire game with two or maybe three combos. So if you are looking for depth and variety, feel free to avoid this one (go pick up Devil May Cry). If, however, you are like me and enjoy mashing buttons to a barrage of particle effects and blood, then read on. As I have said before the game feels very similar to another hacky-slashy-mad-at-the-afterlife-murderama, but what I'm trying to stress is that the similarities don't make it an inherently bad game. One slightly unique aspect of the combat is the ability to punish or absolve enemies, this gives you points to upgrade either holy or unholy powers, though to be honest not much is done with this.

On the character of Dante himself I find it almost funny how hard the development team worked to make him marketable. I mean, just look at his weapon, not only is it Death's scythe, but it's made of a spinal column. I think my friend Jeremy said it best: it's just so signature. That's the difficult part about our industry, you can't make something signature, it just happens. The dev team behind portal wasn't trying to make the most quotable game ever, it just happened because they wrote what they thought was funny. They had no intention of twitter becoming ground zero for cake related jokes because they were smart enough to know that you can't force that kind of stuff. If you do it usually just comes off as annoying or obnoxious. So yes, Dante was made to be a franchise character, but don't use that to judge against his game.

Our hero ladies and gentlemen

Based on the epic poem also known as the Divine Comedy it does take it's fair share of "poetic" (no pun intended) license with the source material. The story begins rather one note in that your soul goal (pun intended) is to rescue your beloved Beatrice. Once you get into the fire and flames though things change up a bit. Dante's Inferno obviously isn't as somber as the poem but the game still manages to delve into at least some serious and evocative territory. One scene in particular (SPOILER) finds Dante in the Suicide Wood were he is met with a surprise; his mother. Dante had believed all his life that his mom had died of fever, but here he is confronted with the undeniable fact that she took her own life.(END SPOILER) The scene was handled well and ended up being surprisingly powerful.

The story continues to grow and as you get deeper into Hell you learn more about Dante himself. The journey is always about saving Beatrice but the entire time you are forced through some very painful self reflection. Let's just say Dante hasn't had a life well lived. The story is told in three types; in game cut-scenes, pre-rendered cut-scenes, and animated shorts. The variety is great and each (particularly the animated) lends well to the over all atmosphere.

an example of the animated cut scenes

While it certainly won't win any awards for originality Dante's Inferno does have some awe inspiring art and architecture. The levels of Hell are all beautifully and disturbingly rendered. I've heard the jaded gamer cry out about how this game was just churned out of the industrial machine to appease "that" demographic, but honestly it is more than that. Many of the games stages are down right jaw dropping, not in pixel power and bump mapping mind you, but in concept and design.

The only major gripe I had with the game was eight completely out of left field "challenge circles" right before the last layer of Hell. This feels random and almost like a cop out, as though they couldn't think of anything for the semi circles of liars. It was lame and out of place. Also, the combat often occurs in the same way, you enter an area, the entrance and exit are cut off, fight wave after wave, repeat. I know this bothers a lot of people, not me, but it's a pet peeve of some. That aside, the boss battles are suitably epic and the levels are designed well.

One thing I will give the game kudos for is its use of tangential learning. It gives you the opportunity to learn more about the source material as well as the time period and people from it. There is some really fascinating information in this game. In a way it's almost brilliant, combing a poetic masterpiece with a hack and slash game to deliver something with enriching source material to a demographic that would otherwise never think of exploring it. I wonder where they got that formula... Obviously this game is no where near as important as the poem on which it is based, and yes the concept itself of making a game out of the Divine Comedy is a bit silly, but in the end we are left with a good not great action heavy game with some striking and powerful imagery and some very heartfelt moments. Due mostly to the character design it walks the line of parody, but chooses to play it straight. I honestly can't say whether that was a good idea or not, but I can say this game is a fun distraction at the least. Dante's Inferno the game isn't as monumental as the literary work, but that doesn't make it a bad game.

So yes, I managed to make it through this entire game without once likening it to "going through Hell" (har har har). No Hell would be more akin to playing Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness, but I'll get to that later.

Things I Should Like, But Don't: Borderlands

A while back I reviewed Borderlands, calling it a fun and addictive but flawed game. I liked it, so why has it made the list of Things I Should Like, But Don't, you ask? Well it has to do with an interview of Gearbox's Creative Director Mikey Neumann. The interview was an open Q&A about "Anthony Saves The World" (a fun series by the way, starring Neumann and Anthony Burch of 'Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin' fame). Durring this Q&A a fan asked Mikey about his public resume (available on the Gearbox site), saying that he listed Chrono Trigger as his favorite game. The fan then asked if he had any intention of making an RPG. Mr. Neumann responded flippantly that he already had "umm little game called borderlands, if you've heard of it" the answer was rude, arrogant, and wrong... well kind of.

I respectfully disagree that Borderlands is an RPG. It has certain RPG elements, but having loot and leveling up does not make your game an RPG, certainly not one you can compare to Chrono Trigger. Simply put, I do not enjoy Borderlands as an RPG because represented as such, it is a complete failure. What if I tried to sell you Prince of Persia: Forgotten Sands as an RPG. You certainly play a role and you even level up abilities. The game is fun, but one would not buy and be satisfied with PoP as an RPG. I enjoyed Borderlands as a First Person Shooter, not as an Role Playing Game, but if the creator insists it is as such then I have to say; I don't like it.

David Jaffe Doesn't Like Me

It's true, David Jaffe (creator of Twisted Metal and God of War) Does not like me. Why, you ask? Because I have the gall to claim that video games are art. My current frustration comes from a lengthy blog written by Jaffe as he procrastinated on Twisted Metal. To summarize he said that games are not art, and saying that they are art is damaging to the industry. Specifically he targets artistic games as follows:

"Shining the powerful media light on these sorts of games - that tell you they are important but are not really all that engaging/interesting play wise and are nowhere near as emotional or meaningful as most B rate, night time dramas on network television - means that the media light and publisher cash gets taken away from traditional games," he explained. "And because of this, traditional games are disrespected, devalued, and shown a lack of appreciation, understanding, and love for the very things the medium does so well, so effortlessly, and so successfully."

Look closely at what he said, first he undermines any emotional resonance that a game carries (and I'm not talking about nostalgia). Next he goes on to explain that these artsy games are taking money out of the pockets of traditional or "pure games" in his words. Then he claims traditional games are disrespected and devalued... I'm not sure what rock he's been living under but I believe I saw just last week that Black Ops was the best selling game in US history, the AAA market is still churning out hits on a regular basis, and those other studios producing "traditional" games are in no worse a position than they were last generation.

I just can't believe he would claim artistic games are devaluing traditional games. If anything AAA hits like his own God of War are taking funds away from other devs because that big name IP is a sure thing. If you're so worried about your "traditional" games not getting funding then how about giving the publishers no choice but to push that. Of course, that would mean dropping your two most popular IP's.

The final nail in Jaffe's coffin was this:

"To be going on and on about how games need to be/can be/should be/already are 'more' than 'just games' to me disrespects the joy and happiness traditional games bring to the world."

Striving to be more is disrespectful? I'm sorry, when I was young I wanted to be an paleontologist, then an archeologist, later a game designer. As I grew and matured the things I wanted to do and achieve changed. So is it disrespectful to my childhood that I did not stay on the same path and become a paleontologist. No, of course not, the very idea is absurd and immature.

By saying that games are not art Jaffe is showing arrogance of overwhelming proportions. He is not speaking for just himself, he is speaking for everyone who has ever played a game. I bet you didn't know that David Jaffe was the judge of every experience you've had with games. Coming from someone this well known to the industry that really hurts. Recall if you will when Roger Ebert said games are not art. This was coming from a man who had never even touched a game. That is why it is such an insult that something like this would come from not only an avid gamer, but a game designer.

If we give Jaffe's fears a reasonable basis it is that all the attention on artsy games is going to make developers think they have arrived as artists. I have news for you, they already have, yet developers still strive to create new artistic visions. Jaffe's fears of the industry become stagnant are baseless. Its just ignorant. All genres evolve. Since Jaffe was so keen on comparing games to movies lets stick with that. I'm sick of naysayers predicting the end of gaming as we know it. Do you honestly think Hollywood is going to stop making blockbuster movies because indie films are getting more popular. No, they will not, because blockbusters make a lot of money. The same goes for games.

Another argument Jaffe has is that the medium is to young to have true artistic value. Age shouldn't be the judge of art. Gilgamesh is just about the earliest example of a narrative, is that not a work of literary art? How about Charlie Chaplin's Modern Times, a silent film and cinematic masterpiece. If one were to look at Missile Command in a different light, even a game as simple as that becomes incredibly powerful.

Traditional games aren't going anywhere and it's downright stupid to project your fears onto a certain group of developers. Also, on that note, to Peter Vesterbacka: No, the mobile market is not going to destroy consoles. The portable market didn't do it, an increase of available systems didn't do it, and your microgames sure as hell aren't going to take down the AAA market. There are too many big businesses invested in this industry for it to just vanish. It seems like gaming more than anything is constantly fighting rumors of its demise. Just calm down people, there is room enough for everyone; Big games, independent, artistic, portable, mobile. Diversity is not a bad thing.

One last bone I have to pick is with Jaffe picking on Flower. The opening of his article says "Just because there's wind blowing and a minimal soundtrack and vast open spaces to explore and a slow pace doesn't mean that the game your playing is art." That is a clear shot at ThatGameCompany (creators of Flow, Flower, and the upcoming Journey).
While he is correct in saying those elements don't make a game artistic I have to disagree that Flower isn't anything but beautiful and moving. The demo alone left me speechless. The people at ThatGameCompany are trying to do something different and because he thinks it's not fun suddenly it's not art. No sir, you are certainly not the gauge of what is artistic in this medium. Jaffe's games are fun (though I'll admit God of War has never held my interest) but his games are also just noise. I'm not trying to take a cheap shot at him, it's quite clear he thinks the games he makes are just a fun diversion, not art.

So Mr. Jaffe, if all you think you are doing is making toys for people to play with, then by all means continue to do so. But do not think that gives you the right to stifle others' artistic vision.

Things I Should Like, But Don't

I've been on a bit of a hiatus lately. While I've found myself with more free time technically I haven't been able to write anything in quite some time. Effective immediately that will change. I'm going to get back into the swing of writing about every other day, whether it's an update on the game I'm playing or a full article. Today I'm debuting a new feature I like to call "Things I Should Like, But Don't". I'll admit I got the idea from my good friend Chad.

Here I will put on display my prejudices. These will be things that Nerd, Pop, and Retro culture all say I should enjoy, but alas, I find my interest waining at best. Please take note, this is not an exercise in trolling, it's just my opinion. I can see why people are fascinated by the things I'm going to address, just know I'm not that person. This will include entries from Gaming, Movies, Music, and anything else I can think of. So without further ado I give you the first on my list (which is in no particular order)

Things I Should Like, But Don't: Rocky Horror Picture Show

I'm going to be brief with this one. I love the music, I think it's fun and catchy, but the movie itself just doesn't interest me at all. It's quirky in all the wrong places and there is nothing truly special about it. It panders by trying to be overtly sexual and risqué but just comes off as immature. I think Tim Curry is great, in fact he's the main reason I ended up seeing this the first time. Keep in mind I don't hate RHPS I just can't seem to have a very good time watching this movie. I won't deny that it has a cult like following, but much like Fight Club, I don't think it deserves it.

Preview of Tomb Raider Angel of Darkness Review

So I bought Tomb Raider Angel of Darkness. It's been... an experience...

Only Slightly Delayed: Jurassic The Hunted

Well I was going to do an article on Trophies/Achievements but alas, I procrastinated and now someone else did it (and probably better). So instead I will now regale you with a story of why it's so awesome to be me, and how I had a fantastic time playing what many consider a bad game.

Jurassic: The Hunted is First Person Shooter set in the Bermuda Triangle where you shoot dinosaurs to your hearts content. If you didn't just high-five yourself after reading that blurb then you're probably not as excitable as I am about dinosaurs. J:H is also a b-movie, only it's a game… The gameplay is smooth and satisfying but the acting is abominable. The dialogue sounds like it was written by a 14 year old and all the motion capture seems like it was from marionettes, and it all ends up being amazing. These hackneyed elements combined with actually satisfying gameplay create a strangely mesmerizing experience. This is an extremely unique game. It is akin to Troll 2 or The Room, it is so awful, but still playable, so the poor elements become entertaining. This game squeezes in amongst the "so bad it's good" crowd.

The story goes something like this. Generic every-merc Dylan is on an escort mission with a "scientist" to the Bermuda Triangle when something goes horribly wrong. A magic mcguffin opens up and time goes haywire. Now you're on an island trying to find your team through waves of dinosaurs. Now, if shooting a dilophosaurus in the face on top of a volcano doesn't interest you then I'd suggest you stop reading now. For me, it's nirvana.

Being stuck in a time warp Dylan has to use whatever weapons he can find. These run the gambit from single shot Black Powder rifles to a Plasma Gun. Also, Jurassic: Hunted had an exploding bolt crossbow before it was cool. As I said before the mechanics in this game are great, the gunplay is fast and fluid and does not feel awkward at all. The addition of things like Civl War camps and World War 2 ships really helps add to the atmosphere of the mysterious circumstances you're in.

There is a Trophy/Achievement called "Clever Girl" that you get from being killed by a Raptor melee. Best Trophy Ever.

The environments get the job done, there's not much range (jungle, volcano, cave, jungle opening) but the game looks good enough. It's not eye candy, but it's not painful to look at, plus there aren't any screen tearing or slowdown issues, which is wonderful on a budget title. The one thing the game toted as it's unique feature was something called Adrenaline Mode, which is basically just bullet time BUT you can see the vital organs of the whatsitsaurus you're about to shoot giving you a tactical edge. Honestly, I think this feature works better than "traditional" bullet time. Adrenaline slows down everything, even you (unlike most games wherein bullet time you still have some semblance of speed). This means it's much more about your accuracy and less about you just slowing down time to cheat.

The game does have it's fair share of actual faults though. Segments are often repeated specifically "kill a ridiculous amount of dinos from a turret" and "kill a ridiculous amount of dinos from the fort you're in (that you need to repair)" These missions tend to outstay their welcome. Another downer; despite nazis being insinuated in the plot (a level where you travel to a u-boat) you never actually see any nazis. That would have been the cherry on top of this game to include nazis along with dinosaurs. Hilarious!

All in all, yes J:H is a budget title and it certainly shows in the story and acting departments, but honestly, the game as a whole is a laughably fun adventure. Plus it doesn't hurt that the game came out as a budget title ($40) and can now be found for $15 or less. While I know many will not enjoy this game the same way I did I can't help but feel it was one of the better games I've played in recent memory. If only because I was genuinely entertained and was laughing out loud at the atrocious dialogue.

Speaking of dinosaur games, check out the trailer for the new Jurassic Park Game from Telltale! I am so flippin excited for this one!

Latersaurus

Opinion-Hated: Hand Held Gaming (ep1)

This is a podcast type thingy where Jeremy and I exchange opinions about hot button nerd topics. This episode is about the next generation of hand held gaming.

Quick Thoughts on Some Movies!

Hi Everybody! I'm uploading the first episode of a new series called Opinion-Hated. It's a podcast type thingy where Jeremy and I exchange opinions about hot button nerd topics. It's also 20 minutes long and is taking FOREVER to upload. So in the mean time I thought I would give you some good old fashioned written down thoughts on a few movies I've viewed recently.

Exit Through the Gift Shop

I believe this movie might just be the longest joke I've ever watched. Essentially it all builds up to a finale that is hinted at in the begining and Hipsters are the punchline. The movie itself is a documentary by an amazing street artist named Banksy about another "artist" Thierry Guetta. Basically Thierry makes his money by selling beat up old clothes to stupid Hipsters at a ridiculous mark up. In addition to this he was also known for having a video camera with him at all times. The story of Thierry discovering street art and meeting the underground artists is fascinating, but the documentary takes an odd turn toward the end.

Thierry decides to become a street artist himself and forms the persona "Mr Brain Wash". His work is all derivative and even made by other people (he sees himself as a facilitator and button pusher) yet thanks to the sheer stupidity of masses he makes it big after just one art show. The movie seems to build up to this moment where it winks and tells you that art is dead, but you can still auction off the corpse. All in all I loved this film. A great deal of that probably comes from how prominently stencils and graffiti are featured (an old hobby of mine). It was fast paced and quirky and told the story of an interesting and eccentric man who may or may not be mentally handicapped, but in the end it doesn't matter, because he got your money, hipsters.

Space Jam

On the spur of the moment Lee, Jessica, Jeremy and I decided to watch Space Jam (thank you Vudu). Honestly I remember enjoying this as a child… then again I enjoyed a lot of things. After watching this again however, I've found that it has not aged as well as some might think. The entire movie feels like an extended commercial for… well nothing in particular. The animation is significantly dated and the human characters with the cartoons just looks odd. In comparison, Who Framed Roger Rabbit has held up much better. This is probably due to the fact that they used real actors for that film and not an NBA star. Also, a noir-esque story doesn't hurt.

My wife made a good point that the animation seems dated because they tried to represent the characters with a more bubbly shaded approach as compared to the straight 2D of Roger Rabbit. In the end I just couldn't shake the feeling that I would rather be watching an old WB cartoon, like the ones you catch glimpses of throughout Space Jam.

Secret of Kells

This movie was in limited release when it came out in theaters and it didn't have any more fanfare when it was released on DVD so I really can't blame you if you've not heard of it. Secret of Kells is an animated film about a young boy in a village surrounded by a great wall that was built to keep invading Vikings out. It is stunning and beautiful and breathes new life into the "cartoon network" style animation. It is also boring.

I find myself a bit torn because I really did love this movie, but I can't help but admit that it is somewhat boring. It is a very simple story but it unfolds quite elegantly. It's not in the traditional western style of grand action and consequence. It is smaller and much more personal. I highly recommend it, but keep in mind it is a tad bit slow.

The Living Wake

This is a small indie movie about an eccentric man who wishes to achieve greatness and find the meaning of life. K Roth Binew is told by a doctor that he has one day to live and this film chronicles it. The humor is dark and the characters quirky. There are touches of Wes Anderson here and there and it strives desperately for that indie feel much like the movie Wrist Cutters. Much like Wrist Cutters it misses the mark in editing and falls a bit short. All in all though there are some good and touching moments and it is worth a watch, if you can stand tremendous over acting. Oh and Jesse Eisenberg is in it.